Closing Chapters, Finding Clarity | Ep 20

Arjun: 00:00:00

So if you are thinking about closing a chapter in your life, make sure you take the time out to do that introspective work and understand why it is you're doing it. But more importantly, have a very clear vision of what you are going to do next.

Because the last thing you want to do is just wake up one day after retirement, or after that chapter has been closed, or that book is now off the table in front of you and on the shelf and shrug your shoulders and say, now what? In sports, we see athletes generally retire for one of two reasons.

Either their bodies fail them and they're forced into retirement because they can't keep doing what they're doing and father time has gotten the better of them, or they just decide they're done. For whatever reason, despite being able to physically go on and continue playing, they just decide they don't want to do this anymore.

We see this in business too, where sometimes an entrepreneur or leader of a company has either had the industry or the market that they are in just pass them by and they are forced to exit or deemed irrelevant, or they just decide to cash out.

So for all you sports fans that are out there, why is it that some athletes will decide to retire then, for sometimes no explanation, just suddenly and abruptly unretire and come back? Think of Tom Brady, Michael Jordan, even Floyd Mayweather.

Now, these athletes, as an example, are some of the absolute best, in fact, greatest at their craft, greatest of all time, so many would argue. So sure they still have the physical capacity to continue to compete and at a high level, because, I mean, let's be honest, they're the goats, right?

So why not? So then why retire in the first place? Was the competitive spirit still burning so high that they had to come back?

Or was the money too good to turn away and they felt that they just wanted to continue to make more? Now, probably not in that last example of money, because these guys, these three athletes in particular, were already rich as fuck.

Or there's the example on the other end of Barry Sanders, who, when suddenly, many would argue, still in his athletic prime and doing ungodly things at the position that he played as running back for the Detroit Lions, just abruptly decided one day, I'm done. And he never looked back. In fact, he went completely out of light to where no one really even heard from him again.

So what did Barry have that Michael, Tom and Floyd did not have?

I believe this comes down to one thing, and like everything in this podcast, it not only applies to athletics, but this can apply to any phase or chapter of your life or in business, which that one thing is peace of mind.

And peace of mind ultimately leaves you clear minded enough to focus on the next thing or the next chapter or thing you want to pursue, channeling all of that competitive spirit or energy and focus towards something else, whether it's making space to start a family, starting your next business, pursuing another passion. I think that ultimately was what was missing from Michael Jordan, Tom Brady and Floyd Mayweather, and not so much and Barry Sanders.

Now, of course, I'm oversimplifying it.

There were many reasons why these great, unbelievably talented geniuses at their craft physically would just decide to walk away from a game and then all of a sudden decide to come back, whether it was for unfinished business. Maybe that competitive fire was just burning too strong.

There's more to it, of course, but I do believe that the athletes and professionals and individuals in this life that can close one chapter and do so cleanly and move on to something else without any regret or looking back or longing for the past are able to do so because they have peace of mind. Now, I know this to large extents from my own experience.

in the World Championships in: 2014

Now, again, I say fortunate because very few athletes ever get to call out their ending and can do so while still in good health and still having the capacity to compete more if they actually wanted to.

And Father Time was not actually answering that call for me, because truth be told, I could have continued to compete for at least one, if not two more cycles. But I made peace well before doing that event that this would be my final one, because I was fueled by this very strong fire and purpose.

And if you caught that podcast episode about why, who and resolve, you'll understand that formula and why it's so important when making these decisions. So check it out if you haven't already. But win or lose, I was going to be done.

It would not ultimately be about unfinished business or whatever result I was going to end up getting out of this experience because of course I was setting out to win. We all do, and I was fortunate enough to actually do so.

But this was about me getting to decide on my own when I would call it a career and transition into Full time coaching and also start to create space in my life for a personal life to finally actually be able to happen, to be able to date someone, ultimately find someone and start my own family. I was starting to get a little bit older and needing to get more serious about this.

And the truth is that many of us in my space that compete as athletes in martial arts because of the way the cycle works. And if you're really going to do it the right way, there's not a lot of time to actually dedicate towards your personal life.

And like I've said in other podcast episodes, when we are in pursuit of something great, it always will come at the expense, short term, of course, of something else. But I had the peace of mind and of course I look back and remember fondly on those days and there's certain aspects of it that I miss.

I'm a competitive person by nature, so I miss that fire. I miss that lead up to a big event, that preparation, that moment of walking up to a podium and having your national anthem be played.

But I'm at peace with it.

And the reason I was at peace with it as well was that I gave everything, I left nothing to chance and had no regrets about my dedication and my output towards this cause. Win, lose or draw again, I was not going to leave anything or hold anything back.

So I left with such an abundantly full level of fulfillment, also aided by the fact that I was able to win and go out on top, that nothing was ever going to top that experience.

Yes, sure, I could continue to compete, maybe be fortunate enough to win again, but because of the cause and the memory of my friends who had passed away and the fact that it was happening in Rome, which was the last city I spent with him many years prior to that, everything just had this magical ending where the train arrived at the station and it was just the right time to get off and no need to get back on another one. And I was truly ready for these other chapters in my life to finally begin. In fact, I was looking forward to them. So that gave me peace of mind.

And I think for Brady and Jordan and even Mayweather, that's been missing is what is the next thing to do. Because ultimately they weren't quite ready to retire and ended up coming back at a major toll or expense of losing their families.

Tom Brady lost his wife. I mean, of course he's still the father to his kids, but he doesn't get to see them as much anymore.

Michael Jordan also had his own personal and family problems. Floyd Mayweather has had loads of legal and family issues as well. So you see where I'm going with this.

Now, Barry Sanders, for whatever reason, and I've not been able to actually quite research this because he's such a private person, you don't see or hear much about him. But for all we know, he's quite fine and happy with his life outside of football and probably has very little regret.

Otherwise he would have come back.

And let's be honest, for those of you that know and follow football, especially at that time when Barry Sanders played who was absolutely electrifying, he could have very well come back and probably played at such a high level that he would have eventually broken more records and made more of an imprint on the history of the game. But he didn't.

So if you were thinking about closing a chapter in your life personally, whether it's on a relationship or on a certain chapter of your family life or in business, or maybe you as a competitive athlete need to finally turn the page and move on to something else.

Make sure you take the time out to do that introspective work and understand why it is you're doing it, but more importantly, have a very clear vision of what you are going to do next.

Because the last thing you want to do is just wake up one day after retirement or after that chapter has been closed, or that book is now off the table in front of you and on the shelf and shrug your shoulders and say now what? Have plans, missions, challenges, visions, details all lined up in front of you and run at this thing.

Because the sooner you immerse yourself into action and activity, because let's be honest, that's what you were doing before and probably doing at a very high, intense level, and you want to maintain that as you transition into whatever is next.

But the sooner you do it, the faster and more seamlessly you're going to be able to make that transition and probably get on to just as successful of a course as you were on previously. Look back on those previous chapters in your life with fond memories, but not for longing to actually return.

Because you actually have that peace of mind and remember, without it, you've got nothing.

If you're thinking about closing a chapter or moving on to another phase in your life, I hope this podcast episode and my reflection of my own experiences, as well as referencing some of these big time athletes that we've all heard of that are household names, is going to be helpful to you in some way, shape or form.

Drop me a comment or a line in the section below on what your thoughts are when it comes to retirement and closing chapters, or why you think certain athletes or professionals have a difficult time turning the chapter. Is it more ego based, which I'm sure there's an element of that, or are they just generally lost? What is it, in your opinion?

And also, don't forget to connect with me on social media. I love having these conversations continue in real life.

It's me that answers all of my DMs, so shoot me a message on Instagram and I look forward to continuing this conversation as well as seeing you guys on the next episode. Thanks for listening.