Why Real Change Looks Boring | Ep 37
In this episode, I bring you behind the scenes of a keynote I gave to the U.S. National Taekwondo Team—lessons not just for athletes, but for anyone chasing greatness. I reflect on the power of incremental growth, the urgency of embracing finality, and how high performers tap into both their “why” and “who” to fuel their mission. Whether you're building a business, training for a goal, or navigating a season of change, this episode is packed with real, emotional, and actionable insights. The journey to transformation starts here—and it starts with LFG energy.
Timestamps:
(00:11) – The Journey to the National Taekwondo Team
(03:10) – Embracing Opportunities: The Importance of Incremental Progress
(04:37) – Embracing Finality and Seizing the Moment
(07:14) – Understanding the Difference Between 'Why' and 'Who'
(09:38) – Finding Your True Motivation
(10:36) – The Journey of Transformation in Sports and Life
Welcome to the LFG Energy podcast! Your host, Arjun Dhingra, is a two-time Taekwondo world champion and the former Team USA co-head coach. He is a 23-year mortgage veteran of the industry who loves influencing change in people.
This podcast is about the stories and lessons of those who have had their backs against the wall and have ultimately overcome. Former Olympians, coaches, entrepreneurs, and incredible human beings will share their experiences of resilience and beating the odds in spite of adversity so that you too can learn to start doing the same in your life.
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Transcript
It's Thursday and we're back for another episode of the LFG Energy podcast show.
Speaker A:Welcome back guys.
Speaker A:Always appreciate you being here and getting the opportunity to share things with you.
Speaker A:So I recently spoke at a banquet which was the selection banquet for the US National Taekwondo Team.
Speaker A:Now if you've been following the show or you know a little bit about me, you know that Taekwondo and martial arts is a huge part of my life.
Speaker A:And I competed for Team USA for seven years.
Speaker A:But more importantly, and what was an even greater privilege, I was the co head coach for the national team for 10 years.
Speaker A:And over those 10 years, I've traveled to some incredible places, had some incredible encounters with people, athletes, people with unique stories, and been in a position to also offer a lot of guidance to athletes and teach them and guide them and bring them along.
Speaker A:So in speaking of the athletes, I wanted to take a lot of the notes that I've had and I dug pretty deep in these notes to be able to deliver this keynote guys for this group of certain key lessons and things that I feel or felt would be really valuable to all these athletes as they embark upon now what is going to be a four month mission to get themselves in the best possible shape and transform themselves for this goal of competing at the World Championships in Barcelona this summer.
Speaker A:Now the reason I'm sharing this is regardless of whether you are a martial artist or you are in business or you're a student or you're starting up your own thing, all these lessons apply to every facet of life.
Speaker A:It's not just for athletes, but it's all about performance.
Speaker A:And all of us are performing, whether we like it or not.
Speaker A:We're doing something, we're trying to perform at our job so that we can work our way up the ladder, get that promotion or finally earn what we feel we deserve.
Speaker A:If you are trying to perform athletically, it's quite obvious you're trying to transform yourself and be ready for some kind of a deadline, a race, an event, something big that's going to happen in which you want to have a really, really good result.
Speaker A:Maybe it's in your personal journey or health and fitness that you're trying to transform yourself and lose weight or get into better shape or take command of your health.
Speaker A:Whatever it is, guys, all of this will apply.
Speaker A:So the first thing that I shared with everyone is that every opportunity at the gym, every opportunity at the track, on a call with a coach or an advisor or someone that's working with you, every film session that you sit down to do every chance that you go into the office, sit behind the DEs, shoot content, whatever it is, is a chance to get better.
Speaker A:You always want to seize every moment as an opportunity to get incrementally better.
Speaker A:Too often, we are a bit misguided and almost spellbound by transformational change because we see it happening on social media, for example, right in front of our eyes, where somebody is one thing one day, and all of a sudden they show up at a certain point in time completely transformed, and we don't know anything of what happened in the middle.
Speaker A:All we see is the beginning and the end.
Speaker A:And we think that this someh.
Speaker A:But a lot of that change, guys, is all done incrementally.
Speaker A:If you do this, you're going to see huge, huge change and progress.
Speaker A:And ultimately that progress is going to help you get much, much closer to your goal.
Speaker A:The next thing is an important one, and that is to embrace the finality of what it is that you're doing.
Speaker A:If you're gearing up for something specific, a race, an event, a deadline, a wedding, whatever it might be, or an admissions exam, there is a sense of finality.
Speaker A:Because it's a limited window.
Speaker A:It's going to close at some point.
Speaker A:And if you've been listening to this podcast, you'll know we did an episode recently about windows of opportunity.
Speaker A:They're open and then they close, and you have to move on.
Speaker A:They might reappear in a different form, but windows are never everlasting.
Speaker A:They don't stay open forever.
Speaker A:At some point, they're going to close, and that's your opportunity to seize the moment.
Speaker A:So you have to recognize that whatever you're doing has a sense of finality.
Speaker A:It has started and you've been given this chance, or you're creating the chance for yourself, but it will come to an end or there will be a deadline, and now you're going to have to do something different.
Speaker A:The other thing about finality, guys, is that we don't know what next time is going to look like.
Speaker A:Sometimes we think ahead and think, well, I'm doing this now, and the next time I do it, or the next time I give this a go, we'll be able to do it a little bit differently or better.
Speaker A:And yes, there might actually be a next time that you're looking forward to, but we don't know what life holds.
Speaker A:Things look different from time to time.
Speaker A:You might be older.
Speaker A:You may not physically have the same capabilities.
Speaker A:Capabilities.
Speaker A:You might be a little bit more stiff.
Speaker A:You might have a family.
Speaker A:There might be other things in your life that are going to take priority.
Speaker A:Whatever it is that you're doing, it's not going to be the same given the next window or when the next opportunity comes up.
Speaker A:So the one you have right now is the best one you've got.
Speaker A:Embrace the finality of it and really be present and act like it's the last chance that you're going to get for, because you'll put forth the right energy, the right type of focus and, and that ultimately is how you want to seize everyone.
Speaker A:That's the essence of LFG energy is to say, let's fucking go right now, not let's fucking go later, let's fucking go now.
Speaker A:The other thing that I shared with the athletes is that they must embrace the suffering.
Speaker A:Training is not meant to be enjoyable.
Speaker A:When you're going through transformation, guys, and you're doing the work again, preparation for the exam or building up to that big moment at work or getting in shape for that race, the training sucks at times and there's going to be times at which you don't want to do it, or you're throwing up or you're worn out.
Speaker A:But you have to keep in mind, as the great Muhammad Ali said, that I knew if I suffered now, I would get to enjoy the rest of my life as a champion.
Speaker A:And again, translating it back to you, it's whatever it is that is ultimately going to put you on that podium.
Speaker A:Whether it's the success, the achievement, getting into that grad school, getting the promotion, having the medal around your neck, whatever it is, if you suffer now, you'll enjoy the time later as whatever that end goal is.
Speaker A:But if you start looking at all the work that has to be done as something that is bothersome and tiring and you don't want to do it, you're not going to put forth the right energy.
Speaker A:There'll be no electric energy behind it, actually, and ultimately the results won't match up with what you want.
Speaker A:So embrace the suck, as they say.
Speaker A:Learn to love it, enjoy the suffering, and you'll actually get to enjoy the fruits of all that suffering later as a champion, as a winner, or whatever it is that you're seeking.
Speaker A:The last thing I shared was actually the most important to me personally, and I saved it for the end because it was a little bit more emotional.
Speaker A:And that is that you should not just do this, but really do it to all the athletes out there.
Speaker A:They were starting and some of them are new to this process, so they have no idea what they're getting into.
Speaker A:And that naivety is a little bit of bliss.
Speaker A:But for others that have done it, I wanted to remind them that you can go through this and just do it for the sake of doing it, or you can really do it.
Speaker A:When we get opportunities, guys, we have to recognize that it's a gift.
Speaker A:Time is a gift.
Speaker A:People's attention is a gift.
Speaker A:You listening to this podcast is a gift for me, and I need to deliver on it.
Speaker A:And it's not something I take lightly.
Speaker A:It's temporary, it's not permanent.
Speaker A:And if you're going to be present with it, you want to give it everything that you can so that you don't have that regret afterwards of asking, did I do enough?
Speaker A:Could I have trained more?
Speaker A:Could I have studied more?
Speaker A:Could I have prepared harder?
Speaker A:Nobody wants to feel that way, because if you do, that's when you get regret, resentment, and all kinds of negative feelings about a particular moment in your life or an event.
Speaker A:The one area in which I expanded on when it came to this was recognizing that there is a complete difference between the why and the who.
Speaker A:When we talk about don't just do this, but actually really do it.
Speaker A:There needs to be a little bit of a purpose or a mission behind it, of course, because you're not, again, just doing it for the sake of doing it.
Speaker A:You're doing it because of something deeper, maybe even darker.
Speaker A:Now, most people kind of blend the two together and think, well, my family is my why for doing something.
Speaker A:My kids are my why, my mom is my why, my dad right now, who's not doing well as much, whatever that is.
Speaker A:You might say it that way, but that's actually your who.
Speaker A:People or other human beings in your life that you're doing something for are your who, and everyone should have those.
Speaker A:But your why is something much darker.
Speaker A:It's deeper.
Speaker A:It could be the chip on your shoulder.
Speaker A:It could be something that's maybe, like I said, a little bit dark, and you use it as fuel.
Speaker A:Why is something truly personal?
Speaker A:Maybe it's the inner critic or a demon or an incident of when you were bullied, or you were told that you can't amount to anything, or that you'll never go anywhere further, or you've got this ceiling and you're never going to break out of this community and this is meant to be your life, but you know you wanted more.
Speaker A:That is ultimately going to be your why.
Speaker A:It's personal.
Speaker A:It's between you and this thing or that moment or that figure in your brain or that voice or demon, and it's dark, like I said, or it can be dark.
Speaker A:Who you do things for is meant to be happier.
Speaker A:There's optimism around it.
Speaker A:There's euphoria.
Speaker A:There is beauty in that.
Speaker A:Because again, when you look at your kids, that doesn't bring out a dark side in you.
Speaker A:Of course you do anything for them.
Speaker A:Or if you look at a sick relative or your sibling or someone that you're doing something for, maybe it's the kids in your community and you're a leader to them, that's something positive, that's something beautiful, that's something happy.
Speaker A:You'll derive energy from it and it'll fuel you because you know you're doing something for them to help lift them, inspire them, or give them something to be hopeful for.
Speaker A:But that why is what you're going to need to tap into when you're ready to quit, when you are sick or you're puking on the track or you're just tired of getting up and getting to the office every morning early to prepare for this thing that you're doing or that major event that you're throwing.
Speaker A:Or as an athlete, like I told the people in the dinner, when you're training endlessly and your muscles are sore and you don't want to get out of bed on a Sunday, but you recognize that winners train on Sundays and champions don't really rest that often, when those doubts creep in, you're going to need to tap into that.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Because why you're doing it is ultimately going to refuel you.
Speaker A:It's going to re energize you and help you recognize that there's no negotiating with my goals.
Speaker A:I set out on this mission.
Speaker A:I'm clear with it on what I need to do, and I'm burning the boats and there's no fucking going back.
Speaker A:That's LFG energy, guys.
Speaker A:Because with your purpose being super clear and having a clear mind and a full heart of passion and love for what you're doing, or in the athlete's case, love for your country, love for your teammates, love for your craft, you cannot fall short.
Speaker A:You're going to win.
Speaker A:Maybe not on the bottom line or in terms of the actual material results, but you will be a transformed and an even better human being for everything that you did, for embracing all that suffering, for remembering why you're doing this and who you're doing it for, and that you got better each and every time that you were in the gym or behind the desk and that you understood and took very seriously the sense of finality around this.
Speaker A:You do that, guys, and you'll always be a winner, no matter what you're doing or what you're pursuing.
Speaker A:So that's what I ultimately shared, guys, with our athletes.
Speaker A:And I goosebumps.
Speaker A:And I got a little bit emotional during times when I was sharing it with them at the various stages because I was remembering back as to how these things related to me when I was training or when I was actually coaching them.
Speaker A:And a lot of these athletes were people I had coached.
Speaker A:There were many new faces in the crowd, so I was happy to share some wisdom with them or something that will hopefully help move the needle in their progress and in their journey over the course of these next few months.
Speaker A:But it was a gift to me and I've said it so many times, and I'll say it again as I conclude this.
Speaker A:It's been a huge privilege and honor, probably one of the greatest in my life, aside from being a father, to have been the US Team coach, along with my partner, Jeff Herben, who was the other coach that I got to stand right next to in doing this for 10 years together.
Speaker A:But to be there for the athletes and helped influence change amongst a special group of people and these athletes was something I'll never forget, I'm always grateful for.
Speaker A:I've drawn more from it in my life, and then I get to turn around and share these things back with you guys as my audience here for the podcast.
Speaker A:So I hope you guys got some great takeaways from this.
Speaker A:Please write those down, maybe even come up with your own, and apply them again.
Speaker A:Whatever you're doing in your life, or whatever you're embarking on or whatever you're in the middle of right now, try and remember these things, because again, they apply to everything.
Speaker A:It's not just sports or athletic performance.
Speaker A:It's life.
Speaker A:And all of us want to get better and be better, and that is LFG energy.
Speaker A:Thanks for listening, guys, and we'll see you next week on the show.
