The Personal Creed That Fuels My Success | Ep 36

Arjun: 00:00:00

Welcome back to the show, guys. And today I want to share with you a little bit of my own personal creed.

Five tenets, in fact, that have either been life lessons or things that I've learned from family members, mentors that I swear by, in fact, apply daily into my life and into my business and into my relationships and interactions with other people. And it's helped me win more, it's created more success, it's considered deeper, meaningful relationships, it's created a better bond with my family.

And I'm very hopeful that you listening to this are going to be able to, to apply it the same way. Now, all of us are trying to improve.

We're all trying to unleash that LFG energy, right, and just take over whatever it is that's in front of us and dominate. Dominate the problem, dominate the opportunity, dominate the event.

But before any of that can happen, the first thing I want to share with everyone is to recognize that whatever you're willing to do when no one is looking is ultimately going to determine how well you'll actually perform or how much you'll achieve when there are eyeballs on you.

My good friend Austin Eckler, one of the running backs for the Washington Redskins, has this great phrase that he said one time when I sat down with him, which is what we do in the dark shines in the light.

What you're willing to do when no one's looking or when you're alone, when the lights are off, there's no spotlight and you only have you to impress, or you're only doing it for yourself. You're not doing it to show off in front of other people. That ultimately is going to show up when you do get your moment under the spotlight.

And I think this is big because so many people, especially in this day of social media, are all enamored by only performing when the lights are on or when the camera goes on, or when the microphone is live and hot.

But they aren't necessarily things that we apply or practice when it's dark, when the camera's off, when the microphone's not working, when it's after hours. So what you're willing to do in the dark will shine in the light, as Austin says.

And that to me always rings true and is how I wanted to open up this conversation with you guys today. The second thing is something that I actually came back into contact with just recently.

In fact, last week I had an event that I was supposed to drive down and participate in.

It was going to be a two hour drive and in all honesty, I wasn't initially looking forward to it because I didn't necessarily think it would be the best use of time.

With a two hour drive, a two hour event and then a two hour drive back, that's six hours, which is pretty much my entire day on a Friday with traffic. Now, the temptation would be to view this as it's going to be a waste of time. And people say that that thing is going to be a waste of time.

That call was a waste of time. This meeting was a waste of time. Hopefully not listening to this podc a waste of time. But there's no such thing as wasted time, guys.

There's only wasted effort.

Everything that you do, even if you don't see the meaning or the purpose behind it, there's a way for you to squeeze value, squeeze insight and gain something from it.

Even if it's by way of just one hand that you shook and one new relationship that was forged and there was a hundred other people that weren't necessarily in alignment with you. And you again might write that off as wasted time, but because you made the effort to connect with one person, you didn't waste the effort.

So everything has an opportunity for you to gain from it. If you are open minded and recognize that it's not about wasted time, there's only a thing such as wasted effort.

So I had to remind myself of that when I went out to the event and sure enough, there was not a great turnout for this event. So I'm looking back to my event from last week. I went down and there wasn't a huge turnout for it.

So again, a former version of myself would have thought, this is going to be a waste of time. And once I got there and saw that there wasn't a great turnout, say this is a complete waste of my time. But no, it wasn't.

Because I made some really great connections with just a few people, but those few people and the opportunities that could come from it, or just the fact that I made three new human connections to me is worth everything. So I didn't waste the time and I certainly didn't waste the effort. The next thing is something very near and dear to my heart.

And again, this is like really part of my personal creed. If you know me, it's a big part of why I'm doing this podcast, which is that you must be in service to others.

And as long as you are, you'll always have a job, you'll always have a role in this universe to do something too many of Us are just walking through the motions or doing things that aren't necessarily in the interest of serving others, but it's to serve ourselves. And sometimes we're not even doing that, which means you're really just going through the motions.

But if you get up every day and your mission is to solve other people's problems or to bring value to whatever table you're gonna sit at, whatever meeting you're going to be present at, whatever zoom you're about to hop onto, and leave that interaction better than when you first came to it, you'll always have a job. There's so much disruption guys going on in the world right now.

But the counteraction to disruption is being visible, of course, like being noticed, but also just being valuable. Because if you're valuable, you're indispensable. And the best way to be valuable is to be in service to others.

Because there's no agenda to that when you're actually trying to help other people out, whether it's solving their problems, fixing something for them in the moment, or just being generous with your time. So again, this is something I live my entire life by. Every day is an opportunity for me to be in service to others.

Because if you're not in service to others, your career, your earnings will be very short lived.

Yes, there are a lot of people that have had some short term success, whether it's monetarily speaking or in the way of achievements, but they weren't in service to others at all.

But if you read up on it a little more or peel back some layers, you'll probably notice that that success, those gains, that moment was very short lived. The people that have lasting and staying power are those that are in service to others because they'll always be a need for them.

So remember that in what you're doing, no matter what phase of life you're in or what you're in the middle of right now, be in service to others. And that one tenant or creed is especially important to me because I think that's what the whole essence of being a better human is.

If we're all doing that, if everyone imagine was in service to other people or the interactions that they have, the tables they're going to sit at, the meetings that they're going to, how great would that be? How much better off would society be? Would your community be, would the world be?

Now it's idealistic, of course, and that's never going to be the case. But for you listening, my goal is to always try and move the needle in your life. And this is one way I know how to do it. So be in service to others.

The next one.

Actually, I was reminded of this morning because a great young man who works at the gym that I'm at approached me and asked about wanting to network a little bit more or perhaps learn from me, maybe even be mentored, because he was looking for things.

And I could tell that there was a sense of disappointment in him that he wasn't where he needed to be, or that he felt that he's not successful at this stage in his life. And no one is unsuccessful. Guys, I just tell you, you just haven't shaken enough hands.

You haven't been in enough groups, you haven't interacted with enough people. That's literally it.

Because the amount of success and fruits that you're going to enjoy later in life is directly correlated to how many hands you have shaken. It really is.

And along the way, it's very easy to think that you're failing or you're falling short, but you're not failing, you're not falling short, you're not a screw up, you're not bad. And it's nothing that negative. You're actually learning.

Because anyone who got anywhere learned plenty of times along the way, which means they failed. They fell quite short. They had to go back to the drawing board and do it all over again.

And we've talked about this so many times on this show, about how to analyze losses, how to make sure they don't repeat themselves, how to get better and show up differently the next time around when you get that ch. But be kind to yourself above all, guys, and just recognize that you're not failing, you're just learning and you're not unsuccessful.

You just haven't shaken enough hands. The last one is deeply personal to me, but I feel it is just a forgotten art or it's a forgotten word.

This word, whenever I've used it, has opened up more doors, created more opportunities for me, sparked more relationships, friendships. Even during my single days, it was how I dated. And it is the word hi or hello in the more formal tense.

Now, you might be laughing and thinking that's silly. But if you really think about it, nobody says it anymore.

Everybody is so face down into their phones or their devices or when they're walking around, they're so focused to try and get to where they're at.

And I use the example or the contrast between New York City, which is a high octane, fast paced city where nobody really stops to talk to other people. Because everyone is go, go, go all the time. And that's just the energy of the city. It's what makes it unique and beautiful in its own way. It's not.

Or my speed.

Whereas San Francisco, if you stopped on the street and said hello to someone or while you were in an elevator or crossing paths with them at a coffee shop, it might very well lead you to one of the most interesting conversations you will ever have.

Now, if I said that in New York and I stopped and said hi to someone, they would look at me as if I was about to do something crazy or as if I'd flipped them off. Like, you would literally get this response of detest or disgust or confusion. Like, why are you talking to me now? I don't ever want to be like that.

Because if you know me and you've been listening to this podcast or we're friends, you know that I'm quite chatty.

And I love talking to people because I love learning from people or just gaining insight from them or just being a part of their world for even that moment. And the word that's always opened up that door has been saying hi. It's created so much opportunity for me.

It's such a disarming word even for those that aren't expecting him. But it's a totally lost phrase or expression right now in society because everyone is so fast paced and no one wants to stop and say hi.

So if you're listening to this, I want you to break that trend and maybe already do say hi to everyone. That's great.

My one year old, because she watches me do it, literally walks up to every stranger and we're probably going to need to rope this in because we need to teach her some values and put up some guardrails for safety. But to every child, to every adult, or if I'm pushing her along in a stroller on a walk, anyone that passes by, she smiles at them and says hi.

And people are like, what a friendly child. Now, that's not by accident. She's been watching her dad do it since she was born. So some of that is probably rubbed off.

Some of it just might inherently be her personality and makeup. But the point is, that is exactly how I want my children to be raised, which is not to be shy or afraid of anything, but to actually disarm.

Or if there's a tense situation, to come in and be the neutralizer, say hello, say hi, open the door, open that possibility for something great to happen or something to become of this conversation. Because if you don't say hi if you don't take that chance. If you don't shoot your shot, you'll never know what could have been.

If you don't say hi to that person at the wine bar or at the restaurant, that could have been your opportunity to potentially meet a life partner or embark upon a great relationship for a chapter in your life. If you don't say hi to that potential investor and introduce yourself, your business may never get off the ground.

If you don't say hi and approach that mentor and be vulnerable and open up, you'll never get the chance to have your life guided and formed into a totally different place.

So yes, it's simple and silly and it's maybe not the way you thought I would end this particular episode, but saying hi or saying hello has changed my life and continues to change my life every day. Because I say it to a lot of people every day. Total strangers. And it's a gift that keeps on giving because I get so much back out of it.

So guys, these are just what I live my life by now. I'm not expecting you to do the same thing.

If there's something in here that I shared that you feel could be applicable to your life, or what your day to day is like, or what feels right within your own personality, what you feel comfortable with, then great, employ it. But what I really want everyone to do who's listening to this is write down what is your creed? What are the tenets that you live your life by?

What are those principles and values? And make it five, because five is just a nice number that is easy to recall. It's easy to remember all five of them.

You can write it down, you can keep it in your journal, and you can expand upon it at any time. And if one of them is not serving you well, rotate it off the list and put something new on there.

But come up with those five things that are important to you about how you live your life. What's changed your life? What has been something that helped you?

Maybe it's something you learned from a family member or a parent, or an inspiring figure in your life. Maybe it was something you weren't even seeking or looking for but it just so happened to reveal itself.

Maybe it was something you saw written on a billboard when traveling to a foreign country. Or maybe it's something that you accidentally have done a few times and now made a habit of and you know that it's something positive in your life.

Whatever it is, create your own creed or tenants to live by and check in on them daily. Because if you do this, guys, you'll always be going through life with the right kind of energy. But more specifically, LFG energy.

Thanks for listening, guys. I hope this episode was helpful in some way, and I hope you expand upon it and develop your own creed and tenants.

And we'll see you guys next Thursday.