What Defines Success? | Ep 50
In this solo episode, I challenge the common narrative around success and offer a new way to define it—on your terms. Drawing from personal stories, coaching experience, and hard truths from sports, business, and life, I break down why chasing external validation will always leave you empty. Instead, I share a daily framework to help you build real momentum by redefining success as a state, not a destination. Whether you're an athlete, entrepreneur, student, or high performer, this episode is a call to stop moving the goalpost and start owning your growth. Success isn’t a title—it’s who you become.
Timestamps:
(00:09) – Redefining Success
(02:42) – Defining Success: A Personal Journey
(04:20) – Redefining Success: A Personal Journey
(09:16) – Redefining Success: Personal Reflections and Frameworks
(09:54) – Defining Success and Building Momentum
Welcome to the LFG Energy podcast! Your host, Arjun Dhingra, is a two-time Taekwondo world champion and the former Team USA co-head coach. He is a 23-year mortgage veteran of the industry who loves influencing change in people.
This podcast is about the stories and lessons of those who have had their backs against the wall and have ultimately overcome. Former Olympians, coaches, entrepreneurs, and incredible human beings will share their experiences of resilience and beating the odds in spite of adversity so that you too can learn to start doing the same in your life.
Connect with Arjun:
▶️ LinkedIn | Instagram | Website
Follow the show:
Transcript
Foreign.
Speaker A:It's Thursday, which means we are back for another episode of the LFG Energy podcast.
Speaker A:I'm excited to talk about this particular topic with you guys today because we are going to define for everybody individually, what is success.
Speaker A:Now, the goal today is to redefine what the end game mentality is and tie this back to a mission or purpose of personal growth, identity and purpose.
Speaker A:I recently was on a zoom with a special group of athletes that were getting ready to leave for a major event within their respective sport and the topic of success came up and I thought this would actually be a great topic to share because it doesn't matter who you are or what you're doing, whether you're in pursuit of something or you're an athlete or you're trying to grow professionally.
Speaker A:We're all aiming for something.
Speaker A:And for most of us, we're aiming for multiple things.
Speaker A:We don't just stop at one thing because in life there's no finish lines, there's only through lines.
Speaker A:So we just have to keep going through them.
Speaker A:But ultimately it never really ends.
Speaker A:But the reality was for these athletes is that there were 80 or so of them that were embarking on this mission and only a select few were ultimately going to end up with an opportunity to be on a podium and get a medal.
Speaker A:And even fewer of those would actually get a gold medal.
Speaker A:So does that mean that just because that doesn't happen for the rest of the athletes, that this was somehow an unsuccessful or a trip of failure or.
Speaker A:Or falling short?
Speaker A:Well, society would lead you to believe yes, because we get everything painted to us as a zero sum game.
Speaker A:You either win or you lose.
Speaker A:You get the gold, you get the silver.
Speaker A:And that does us a huge disservice because all of these journeys that we go on are so much more in terms of its meaning and purpose tied into the journey itself.
Speaker A:Who we become during that process, what happens to us internally when we embark on this mission, not what happens at the very, very end and what that result is.
Speaker A:Because if that was the indictment on all of us, so few of us in life would ultimately have success.
Speaker A:There can only be one winner in a group.
Speaker A:If 20 people are competing, there can only be one gold medal winner in that category.
Speaker A:When 30 something teams vie for the super bowl in the NFL season, only one is left in February, actually hoisting the trophy.
Speaker A:The others, are they considered a failure?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Some may be more of a work in progress.
Speaker A:Some may have improved, some may have regressed.
Speaker A:But there's an opportunity to evaluate Whatever it was that you just went on and take something from it, grow from it, evolve.
Speaker A:So for you, the listener today, whether you are again, a professional, a graduate student, someone who's embarking on some kind of a mission or some pursuit of something great, this episode will specifically be for you.
Speaker A:And we're going to start right there with you.
Speaker A:And I want you to define for me, what does success mean to you?
Speaker A:Take a second seriously and define it.
Speaker A:What does it mean?
Speaker A:Is it a material thing?
Speaker A:Because again, society would lead us all to believe, and we've all been conditioned this way, that success was somehow this material connection to something.
Speaker A:The house, the bank account with all the cash in it, a certain type of car, a person that's on your arm that you walk around with, and now you call them your trophy wife or husband.
Speaker A:Again, a material thing.
Speaker A:But is that actually what success is?
Speaker A:So define it for yourself.
Speaker A:What does it mean to you?
Speaker A:What does it come in the form of?
Speaker A:Because if you don't define it, then somebody else will.
Speaker A:And the truth there, their version, is not actually what was meant for you.
Speaker A:You see, we live in a world that is obsessed with finish lines.
Speaker A:It's obsessed with results.
Speaker A:And we talk about it so much that you either win or you lose.
Speaker A:You either have the trophy or you don't.
Speaker A:You either have all the riches or you're dirt poor and you're unsuccessful.
Speaker A:You either live in the big house or you live in a shithouse.
Speaker A:You either have a six pack or you're completely out of shape.
Speaker A:You either own a property or you're a deadbeat.
Speaker A:Again, everything being in this zero sum layout.
Speaker A:But there's a problem with chasing their scoreboards, and that is this.
Speaker A:The goal post always moves.
Speaker A:Again, I stated there are no finish lines in life, only through lines.
Speaker A:Because at the end of the day, success without fulfillment is going to be empty.
Speaker A:So if the goal post is moving and you achieve success or some form of it and don't have any feeling of actual purpose or true mission or a personal thing that was tied to it, then you're going to feel empty.
Speaker A:I've talked about it before, that success without fulfillment is an empty feeling.
Speaker A:And that's a Tony Robbins quote directly.
Speaker A:So today I want you to challenge yourself into redefining what does success actually truly mean for you.
Speaker A:It's personal.
Speaker A:Remember, it's not somebody else's definition.
Speaker A:It's got to be yours.
Speaker A:So whether you are grinding away in real estate or marketing or you're a student that's trying to get through all of your graduate coursework, or you're an athlete that's trying to represent your country and do the best you possibly can.
Speaker A:Let's figure out what success really means for you and break it down now.
Speaker A:Again, most people define success by the end game.
Speaker A:They say I will be successful when, when I have this, when I've done that, when I have this much money, when I can afford that.
Speaker A:But what happens when you get there and it doesn't actually feel like enough?
Speaker A:I've coached many fighters over my life and competitors who have ended up ultimately winning and getting a gold medal placed around their neck.
Speaker A:But because there was no real sense of fulfillment attached to it, it felt quite empty.
Speaker A:And nothing magically happened to their life or turned them into a great success.
Speaker A:In fact, sadly, I know countless world champions from around the world that either turned into alcoholics, drug addicts, have committed suicide, sadly, or just never really truly panned out as good, decent human beings in the real world.
Speaker A:Conversely, I've also seen a lot of people who never ended up with the medal at all.
Speaker A:But they kept trying and trying.
Speaker A:And yet they are massively or intensely successful in their personal lives, in their communities, in their businesses.
Speaker A:So what's the difference there?
Speaker A:It's because success is not a destination.
Speaker A:It's an actual state.
Speaker A:It's a mindset.
Speaker A:It's a pattern of behavior.
Speaker A:Ultimately, it's a relationship with you yourself.
Speaker A:Though if your version of success is something that's outside of you, you'll never actually achieve it.
Speaker A:And I want you to remember that.
Speaker A:Now, the athletes that I respect and love the most are not the ones necessarily with the best records.
Speaker A:It's the ones who love the process.
Speaker A:The ones who love getting up to get to the gym at 5am, the ones who obsess with over putting in time and work after a match or game is finished.
Speaker A:They make weight, they stretch, they do the things that others won't do or when no one else is watching.
Speaker A:I've stated that great quote by the current NFL fantastic running back Austin Ecklar that says what we do in the dark shines in the light.
Speaker A:Being willing to do the things when no one else is paying attention and you're not going to receive any praise or hype.
Speaker A:If anything, actually, you might get the opposite for it.
Speaker A:It's the same in real estate, the same in business, the same in school.
Speaker A:You've heard me say this before, that we don't rise to the level of our success, okay.
Speaker A:Or rise to the occasion.
Speaker A:We default or fall to the levels of our preparedness or our training.
Speaker A:That's discipline, that's a process.
Speaker A:And that is ultimately success.
Speaker A:Who we become in the process.
Speaker A:I define success personally as being in complete 100% alignment with who you say you want to be, how you show up, and the energy ultimately that you bring.
Speaker A:But not just any energy.
Speaker A:And LFG energy, it's doing the right thing, the hard thing, especially even when it's not sexy, even when nobody is clapping.
Speaker A:So here's the danger, ultimately, if we attach ourselves to those outside or third party definitions of what success actually means, is that we actually lose the lesson that this journey or this process or this mission we embarked on was actually trying to teach us.
Speaker A:Who did you become in that process?
Speaker A:Did you ultimately turn into a better version of yourself?
Speaker A:Did you finally prove that you were able to get in shape for something or that you could actually put in the hours and put in the time and still manage to show up in other areas of your life while making it all somehow balanced?
Speaker A:Did you lose all that weight that you thought was impossible to lose?
Speaker A:Did you become a healthier person?
Speaker A:Are you more mentally fit and capable now and resilient as a result of having gone on this process?
Speaker A:These are all the elusive victories within.
Speaker A:They don't show up on scoreboards, and to other people around us, they don't matter.
Speaker A:But it shouldn't matter to others around us.
Speaker A:It should only really matter to us.
Speaker A:We somehow feel that if we get the medal or we get the trophy or we get the winnings or the earnings, that the outside world will view us as something different.
Speaker A:But how do we ultimately view ourselves?
Speaker A:And this is why having your own personal definition of success is so important.
Speaker A:You have to have it at all times in any mission that you are on.
Speaker A:You need to define for yourself while in that process, what does this mean to me?
Speaker A:What would be important?
Speaker A:What would ultimately define success?
Speaker A:And as long as it's not attached to some material thing and you put that out of your mind, but you focus on who you want to become, what version can be improved?
Speaker A:What aspect of your life can actually take a step forward and be different than when you came into this?
Speaker A:Because if that version of you that ultimately is at the finish line, or the through line as we like to refer to it, is better than the one that started, then you've won.
Speaker A:So here it is, guys.
Speaker A:Success is becoming the kind of person that continues to go forward when it's hard, that forges ahead when no one else is watching, keeps doing the work that's it, plain and simple.
Speaker A:It's not about the title, the deal, or the dollar amount.
Speaker A:It's, did I win today?
Speaker A:Did I lead with value?
Speaker A:Did I win my morning?
Speaker A:Did I do enough today?
Speaker A:Did I keep the promises that I made to myself?
Speaker A:Because if I string enough of those days together and keep stacking those wins on top of one another, the scoreboard will take care of itself.
Speaker A:So here's the assignment or the framework I want to give everyone.
Speaker A:Take out a notepad, or if you're doing this on your phone, or just keep a mental log and ask yourself these three questions.
Speaker A:What does success look like for me right now, at this moment, given the mission that I'm on, what would constitute or quantify as success?
Speaker A:The next question is, is that my definition of success or is it someone else's?
Speaker A:And you need to be really clear on that, because if it is someone else's, then the definition is no good.
Speaker A:You need to make it your own.
Speaker A:And lastly, perhaps most important, what would success look like if it had nothing to do with external validation or the material thing that constitutes, in the outside world, a successful.
Speaker A:Now, I want you to define what a successful day is.
Speaker A:Not a week, not a month, not a year, just a successful day.
Speaker A:What does it take for you to be able to achieve all those things that you outline in the day, get them done and consider it a win.
Speaker A:Then live that version for seven days straight.
Speaker A:You can put that together, you'll start to develop some habits, and again, you're stacking wins on top of wins.
Speaker A:That winning streak becomes momentum.
Speaker A:Momentum is infectious.
Speaker A:And at some point, it becomes unstoppable.
Speaker A:And that ultimately is your real championship.
Speaker A:That is your real win.
Speaker A:That is the trophy, and that is the elusive victory within.
Speaker A:It's who you become in the process.
Speaker A:So, look, guys, at the end of the day, I get it.
Speaker A:We want the material thing.
Speaker A:I'm not saying don't go for it, but when you set that goal, that end goal of winning this, becoming that, getting into this school and ending up with that person having this many zeros in my bank account, then put it off into the distance and then start to set up those micro steps, as I've talked about so many times on previous episodes.
Speaker A:Create a process.
Speaker A:But in the spirit of today's episode, create something for each day and then stack days on top of others.
Speaker A:And as you start to move, day by day, one foot in front of the other towards things, you'll build that momentum.
Speaker A:You'll gain that confidence with each passing day.
Speaker A:And each stacked win.
Speaker A:And no matter where you end up, you will be transformed and you will be something better, something more evolved, something greater than when you started.
Speaker A:And that's the real win.
Speaker A:Remember, you don't find success.
Speaker A:You don't get it handed to you.
Speaker A:You forge it.
Speaker A:You have to create it.
Speaker A:And you do so with these day to day frameworks.
Speaker A:And if you can live in alignment with that definition, then you are already winning.
Speaker A:Do this every day and you'll win forever.
Speaker A:That's LFG Energy, guys.
Speaker A:So let's get it.
Speaker A:I appreciate you guys listening to this, and we will see you next week on the LFG Energy podcast.
