Quitting Alcohol at 47 Changed My Life w/ Chris Medellin | Ep 40
Chris Medellin, a top mortgage leader and self-described “work in progress,” opens up in this powerful conversation about quitting alcohol at 47 and how it reshaped every corner of his life—from his marriage to his mindset to his leadership style. What began as a lifestyle change turned into a full emotional, physical, and professional transformation.
Chris shares the emotional challenges of sobriety in a booze-heavy industry, the anxiety hacks that got him through it, and the deep inner work that followed. He also reflects on fatherhood, health, heartbreak in leadership, and what it means to be truly there for others.
If you're chasing clarity, leadership without ego, or proof that reinvention is possible at any age—this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
(00:00) - Intro: “Work in progress” and the decision that changed everything
(01:52) - Giving up alcohol at 47—and how it unraveled his identity
(03:01) - Learning how to feel again: Marriage, discomfort, and self-worth
(06:30) - The social pressure to drink—and how other sober leaders inspired him
(08:30) - Anxiety hacks: How he made events bearable without alcohol
(13:25) - “Not anti-drinking, just pro-accountability”
(16:18) - Sobriety as a business edge during the toughest year in mortgage
(17:25) - Leadership check: If your team only sees your content, you’re failing
(20:09) - The glamor vs. grind of being a “public leader”
(22:06) - Accessibility = retention: Why your people are your customers
(23:01) - Regret and growth as a father + stepfather
(26:56) - Why his lifestyle is his power: energy, clarity, performance
(29:21) - Health habits = stress insurance for entrepreneurs
(31:08) - How to handle heartbreak in leadership when people leave
(34:27) - Vulnerability in business: what happens when you show the struggle
(36:31) - Growing up poor, chasing success—and never feeling worthy of it
(39:50) - The worthiness trap and breaking generational limitations
(45:36) - “He was there”: The one word he wants remembered at his funeral
(46:22) - LFG Energy = your past as rocket fuel for the future
Connect with Chris Medellin:
▶️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thechrismedellin/
▶️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrismedellin
Welcome to the LFG Energy podcast! Your host, Arjun Dhingra, is a two-time Taekwondo world champion and the former Team USA co-head coach. He is a 23-year mortgage veteran of the industry who loves influencing change in people.
This podcast is about the stories and lessons of those who have had their backs against the wall and have ultimately overcome. Former Olympians, coaches, entrepreneurs, and incredible human beings will share their experiences of resilience and beating the odds in spite of adversity so that you too can learn to start doing the same in your life.
Connect with Arjun:
▶️ LinkedIn | Instagram | Website
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Transcript
We've all heard the expression that it's never too late to grow.
Speaker A:And today's guest on the podcast is a good friend of mine, but somebody that embodies that because he refers to himself as a constant work in progress.
Speaker A:He's always trying to evolve and get better and grow, not just as a professional, but as a human being, as a husband and as a father.
Speaker A:Chris Medean, a regional vice president over at Loan Depot and one of the most influential thought leaders and just professionals in the mortgage and real estate space, sat down with me for this episode on the LFG Energy Podcast.
Speaker A:Chris came from very humble beginnings, but has used that humility which he forever remains in, to continue to drive him and lift others around him.
Speaker A:He's an incredibly inspiring figure and an overall great human being.
Speaker A:And I know you guys are going to love this episode, so let's get into it.
Speaker A:I am really excited about this episode today, man, because we've been talking about this for a minute and there's been some things which we're going to touch on in the show today that kind of inspired this moment into happening.
Speaker A:It was off conversations that you and I had privately, and I thought, I want this to be shared, not only because you're an incredible leader in business and in our industry and someone that I look up to and respect and admire, but because you're like this study of the human game yourself and someone who considers himself a work in progress and he's always trying to get better.
Speaker A:And that's what this show is all about, man.
Speaker A:So I want to.
Speaker A:I want to talk business, entrepreneurship, life, lifestyle, even health.
Speaker A:But let's first start with decisions.
Speaker A:Like, life is pretty much a huge consortium of decisions and moments, right, that shape us.
Speaker A:Talk to me about a recent decision or, you know, maybe from a few years ago that you and I have touched on pertaining to a lifestyle choice that you've made that has altered the trajectory of your life and it's impacting it in so many different ways.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, I think I know what you're talking about.
Speaker B:So a few years ago, it's been about a year and a half, actually.
Speaker B:Probably like almost to the date if you think about it, or if I think about it, I just decided one day that I was not going to drink anymore.
Speaker B:Now, there was a lot of decisions leading up to that, but I'm in an industry where it's so widely accepted and I'm in a.
Speaker B:You know, my entire being and my entire brand at one point was really built around.
Speaker B:I'm the party guy.
Speaker B:I'm the guy that, you know, we're going to do the drinks, we're going to do the happy hours, we're going to do all that stuff.
Speaker B:And then so I was really trying to really figure out a way to redefine who I am and how I behave and how I show up and have to just hit the reset at such a.
Speaker B:Like, at an older age in life.
Speaker B:You know, I'm 40.
Speaker B:I was 48, 47 at the time.
Speaker B:And to have to rethink all of that was really tough for me to do, but it was time.
Speaker B:And I just stopped one day, the next, cold turkey.
Speaker A:Talk to me more about how that decision.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Has had, like, a positive ripple effect in your marriage and your life and your business.
Speaker B:Well, I'm not gonna, like, sugarcoat it for you, man.
Speaker B:It wasn't like.
Speaker B:It wasn't really easy in the beginning, because I would say, like, the first year, bro.
Speaker B:Like, I.
Speaker B:I've.
Speaker B:I've been drinking, so let me take you back.
Speaker B:I've been drinking since I could remember.
Speaker B:Like, I would probably venture to guess that from 16 on, I've drank pretty consistently.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's been a part of my life.
Speaker B:And so I've never really knew how to cope with either.
Speaker B:Success with failure, with a tough conversation.
Speaker B:I think I was taught thinking.
Speaker B:I think Fabiano talked about it on my podcast.
Speaker B:I don't remember that.
Speaker B:I had actually had a 100 sober dinner with my wife up until I stopped drinking, because there was always some drinking involved, you know, with.
Speaker B:With dinners.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So then I had to figure out how to cope.
Speaker B:I had to figure out, like, how to feel, how to be a person, how to be a human without, like, you know, the crutch of alcohol.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And the crutch of alcohol is really, like, a disappearance.
Speaker B:It's like, hey, we.
Speaker B:We had a really great week.
Speaker B:Go drink.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, go hide.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Or, you know, but it was all.
Speaker B:Because I didn't really understand how to cope.
Speaker B:So for me, with her, I kind of.
Speaker B:I kind of pulled in because.
Speaker B:So it wasn't like she got like, oh, overnight, you're not drinking anymore.
Speaker B:You're, like, the best husband ever.
Speaker B:It was like, no, I got to figure out myself, and I need time, I need space to figure that out, to figure out how to deal with things.
Speaker B:So I got real quiet, and I think it really impacted her, you know?
Speaker B:And then one day, I think I finally just went to her, and I was like, I think I'm ready to, like, Work on us.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I wasn't ready before, but I think I am now because I had to work on me.
Speaker B:And, you know, they say, like, you got to love yourself before you can love anybody else.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:I don't think I was.
Speaker B:I'd ever really love myself and felt worthy enough to truly be in my being without alcohol, you know, And I'm not telling.
Speaker B:I don't think I was, like, a lush running around town, like, you know, with a trella disaster or anything.
Speaker B:I was very functional in the sense that I knew how to, you know, how much to drink, when to drink.
Speaker B:Like, at social, our work events, I would never get drunk.
Speaker B:I could drink, like, six drinks and not even feel it.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:But if I went out with my wife and her friends, I'd, like, pass out at dinner or, like, just fall asleep, like, weird shit, you know, after three drinks.
Speaker B:You know, it was just.
Speaker B:It was always this weird situation that I find myself in that I figured, can't really control this, and I need to stop.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:You're right, man.
Speaker A:Like, so much of our industry is like this because there's the happy hour, there's the networking event, or there's the after party.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, alcohol is this huge center of society, of these social systems, and so it's almost like you're just programmed.
Speaker A:I mean, look, like the expression happy hour, you can't have fun or be happy unless you have a drink in hand.
Speaker A:Like, it's kind of everywhere.
Speaker A:But you touched on how a little bit, actually, in another conversation you and I had earlier today about the.
Speaker A:There was somebody that you and I both know who you saw, and you had assumed this guy was, like, a functioning alcoholic because he was so high energy and just, like, a monster.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But it was just his personality, and he actually.
Speaker A:Turns out he'd been sober for a long time, but that kind of set off a light bulb in you or like an aha moment as well.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:In your journey.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, there were a few things that had happened.
Speaker B:Like, I was.
Speaker B:I found myself interested in the story around how people stopped drinking.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker B:If somebody didn't buy.
Speaker B:Like, I never shamed anybody who didn't drink.
Speaker B:Like, I was always, like, the one who was like, okay, tell me more.
Speaker B:Like, how are you functioning?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So Thomas Bepko had let me in on a podcast that he had.
Speaker B:He had not drank.
Speaker B:And I was, like, really?
Speaker B:Like, I had no idea, because his energy and just the way that he approached things to me made me think that he was.
Speaker B:He was a big Drinker.
Speaker B:In fact, I remember me and Fabio talking.
Speaker B:I was like, oh, yeah, I thought so too.
Speaker B:But then there were more people.
Speaker B:I had done an interview.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:There were Ricky, Ricky Abood was another one.
Speaker B:He, he had a really good story.
Speaker B:He said, you know, why would I ever approach.
Speaker B:He said he was in line to get a drink for like a New Year's Eve party.
Speaker B:And he was like, wait, why would I be.
Speaker B:Why would I take the first day of the year to be hungover?
Speaker B:Like, if you're trying to start a new year, feeling like with, you know, everybody start resets in the new year, why would I start that reset hungover?
Speaker B:And I was like, I never thought about that.
Speaker B:You just unlocked this magical thing that I never thought about.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So then there was that.
Speaker B:But I did a podcast with, with Sean Kaplan and he had just gone through like a treatment that he had shared on the podcast, like a really immersive treatment.
Speaker B:And at the time, I don't know where he's at with sobriety or if he's sober or not.
Speaker B:That's his business.
Speaker B:But like he had said, I just stopped.
Speaker B:I'm just going to stop everything.
Speaker B:And at that moment I was like, okay, if he can, why can't I?
Speaker B:And he's, he's doing well.
Speaker B:I don't see him nervous in rooms.
Speaker B:And there, there could be life after this.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So I just.
Speaker B:It was after that podcast, I stopped drinking, like off Sean's.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I just never drink again after that.
Speaker A:For anyone listening who has always from the social anxiety or the social crutch of thinking, like, I got to have a drink in my hand to have a good time or to get through this happy hour, to be around people.
Speaker A:Sometimes people have anxiety around people.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:Or big groups.
Speaker A:What would you say to someone listening who is contemplating, like, I know I probably shouldn't drink and I'd love to give it up one day, but I can't get through that event or get through a visit with my in laws or whatever it is.
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker A:Without it, dude.
Speaker B:I remember.
Speaker B:I'll tell you the story that will answer this question, but I remember there was a time where I don't know if I should tell the story more because it's not about me, but more about somebody else, though.
Speaker B:Somebody in my family.
Speaker B:I'll say it this way, okay.
Speaker B:That, that we didn't want there to be any alcohol around them.
Speaker B:And I remember thinking to myself, like, having a little bit of resentment about it.
Speaker B:So I remember, like on Thanksgiving or whatever day it was that we were all sitting down, like sneaking it.
Speaker B:Like I was like, we're still gonna have, I'm still gonna have a drink, you know, Like, I couldn't, I couldn't for the life of that individual, let it go, right?
Speaker B:I was like, I'm good.
Speaker B:Like, this is me, who I am.
Speaker B:I drink, right?
Speaker B:And, and so I do know that there is like somebody who's listening that really also has those mornings where they're hungover and they're like this.
Speaker B:I have to really rethink who I am.
Speaker B:And those thoughts go through your mind and you're like, man, I gotta stop, I gotta stop, I gotta stop.
Speaker B:But when I stopped, when I decided I was going to stop, I did something also that was really important is I went to a mastermind and they forced me to post about it.
Speaker B:And when I did that, I let the world know who I was and where I was.
Speaker B:And then I was like, okay, now I have to be a man of my word, right?
Speaker B:It was like little hacks in my head that was like, if somebody sees me out drinking, they're going to think I'm a hack, right?
Speaker B:My wife's gonna think that I didn't hold my word, right?
Speaker B:I'm accountable, all those things, right?
Speaker B:The accountability.
Speaker B:So to answer your question, there's so many hacks that I would do and, and I'll list them out for you in no particular order.
Speaker B:Number one, for the first year I was extremely anxious walking into a restaurant because from the moment that I walk into a restaurant to the moment that the food arrives at the table, I drank during that period, every dinner I ever had, I drank.
Speaker B:So that was like, I enjoyed that time.
Speaker B:But that first like six months to a year, I couldn't hear anything my wife was telling me, my kids were telling me or anything because the noise and everything was like high anxiety for me that I was like, I need a drink.
Speaker B:Yeah, this is like my time to drink.
Speaker B:And I couldn't anymore.
Speaker B:So I just had to pre plan.
Speaker B:I was like, okay, as soon as I get there, I'm gonna just order like, Like I had three options.
Speaker B:I'm gonna get a fake beer, right?
Speaker B:A non alcoholic beer, because then that'll like trick my brain.
Speaker B:And I'm not a purist in the sense that like some people are like, oh, you can't drink fake drinks.
Speaker B:I drink fake drinks.
Speaker B:I drink fake beers all the time.
Speaker B:But I was like, I'll get one of those.
Speaker B:And if they don't have that, I'll get A club soda with a lime.
Speaker B:And somebody taught me this trip, get it with a salted rim, like club soda with salty rim.
Speaker B:I was like, oh, that's amazing.
Speaker B:I'll do that.
Speaker B:So, like just these little hacks on drinks that I can get that would just trick my brain into like having something in my hand.
Speaker B:But I had to pre plan like as soon as they come, I, I knew what I was going to order.
Speaker B:So I was one number two, I just.
Speaker B:You had to, I had to plow through it because my business doesn't give me.
Speaker B:I'm not afforded the ability to not show up to events.
Speaker B:I have to go.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's my livelihood.
Speaker B:Um, so I just had to pre plan like, I'm not, I mean, I just decided I wasn't gonna drink.
Speaker B:When I decided I was gonna do it, I wasn't gonna do it.
Speaker B:I now had to deal with the anxiety.
Speaker B:But for the first six months it sucked.
Speaker B:But I got through it.
Speaker B:And now I can go to event and not even think twice about it.
Speaker B:Like, I don't, I don't think twice about it at all.
Speaker B:It's not even a thought in my mind.
Speaker B:It's like I used to smoke cigarettes.
Speaker B:I used to enjoy smoking until one day I didn't like the way that I smelled.
Speaker B:And I was like, okay, like I don't like the way I smell afterwards.
Speaker B:So I can, I can't smoke anymore.
Speaker B:And then, you know, I thought, well, but I really miss it.
Speaker B:So how do I get past the smell?
Speaker B:So I was like, okay, well, I don't want to be hungover anymore.
Speaker B:So I feel like if I drink that's going to result in a hangover.
Speaker B:So I just stopped.
Speaker B:I just had to stop.
Speaker B:And so people who are listening, who are looking for and out.
Speaker B:I'm not saying that my way is the only way.
Speaker B:I mean, people, there's a billion dollar industry of treatment centers that you can use.
Speaker B:But for me, I had to learn the hard way in coping.
Speaker B:Now, a couple of things that I did separate to that is I, I did 75 hard twice before I became sober because I kind of needed to figure out if I could physically be sober.
Speaker B:And what I realized, if I would tell people I'm on 75 hard, they would leave me alone about drinking.
Speaker B:Yeah, like, oh, you're in 75?
Speaker B:Yeah, I can't drink because I'm a 75 hard, you know.
Speaker B:Okay, okay, that's real.
Speaker B:Well, tell me about that.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So they have to leave me alone, right?
Speaker B:Everybody.
Speaker B:But then I was like, you know what?
Speaker B:I'm actually proud of myself for not drinking.
Speaker B:So if somebody has a problem with it, then I really don't need them in my sphere.
Speaker A:Totally.
Speaker B:You know, and, you know, again, none.
Speaker A:Of this is to say that people who drink are bad and people who don't drink are good.
Speaker A:This was really a question about a lifestyle change that you wanted to make on me.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And how it's impacted you in a positive way, but also how it's, like, kind of expanded your lens of how you see others who've also given it up for their own personal reasons.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because you and I touched on this earlier again, on another conversation that both of us, through not having.
Speaker A:Not drinking anymore, have ultimately run into people that, either surprisingly or unsurprisingly, we're meeting, who also adhere to the same lifestyle choice.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So that circle kind of gets a little bit bigger and bigger, and then you feel the sense of familiarity and acceptance in it.
Speaker A:And again, to each their own.
Speaker B:It really is.
Speaker B:Teach your own.
Speaker A:Here.
Speaker B:Here's the deal.
Speaker B:Like, I love the person who could drink two drinks and be done with it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's how Tracy is my wife.
Speaker B:She could.
Speaker B:She could have two drinks, and she's like, completely okay.
Speaker B:And, you know, doesn't care to have a third.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But that's not me.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like, I want the third, the fourth, the fifth, because I enjoyed the way it tasted and I enjoyed the way I felt.
Speaker B:And after two, you're like, why not three?
Speaker B:And then your judgment goes out the window, and before you know it, you're hungover or you're.
Speaker B:There's some sort of consequence behind it, you know?
Speaker B:And so I'm like, I'm just not cut out for it.
Speaker B:It's just not for me in this lifetime.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:And I'm good with that.
Speaker B:What opened up so on top of that, right in the middle of.
Speaker B:In the middle of this entire, like, process of me not drinking, we also.
Speaker B:I also was at the hardest point of my career because the industry had changed the trajectory of what I had built.
Speaker B:And I work in mortgage.
Speaker B:I build teams.
Speaker B:Everybody was running for the hills.
Speaker B:Nobody knew the industry was changing.
Speaker B:And so I want to say we've lost more than 50% of the people in the industry just quitting the industry.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I had people doing that, going to brokers.
Speaker B:I was bleeding people.
Speaker B:And so every day was a breakup.
Speaker B:Every day was a breakup of somebody that I really believed in that I wanted to help, that was saying, hey, I'm gonna go do something else or I gotta go get a second job or I gotta do this.
Speaker B:So I didn't really understand how to do all that, but I knew that if I was drinking and dealing with that, then it was like I was just gonna.
Speaker B:I was gonna just, I don't know, like, maybe implode or self destruct.
Speaker B:So I was like, my best chance of survival in this industry is I have to have an edge.
Speaker B:My edge was my energy, and my energy needed to be manufactured.
Speaker B:And there was absolutely no fucking way that I can do that.
Speaker B:Drinking, it just wasn't an option.
Speaker B:Headache be cut out.
Speaker A:And this is a perfect segue into actually how you show up in business.
Speaker A:Because it's something that I again, very much admire.
Speaker A:And everyone who knows you in our industry knows this.
Speaker A:You're a leader, a thought leader.
Speaker A:You're someone who's a big champion for the industry.
Speaker A:You and I were talking about leadership earlier and how a lot of people, you know, for their own reasons, they want to aspire into a similar space and they think, I want to be a speaker.
Speaker A:I want to be this.
Speaker A:And you know, again, to each their own.
Speaker A:Some people are made for it, others aren't, and people have to go on their own journey.
Speaker A:But we talked a little bit about accessibility that people have to have to you as a leader and this kind of balance that you have to try and create of.
Speaker A:If they're seeing me out there more than they're seeing me in person, that's a problem, right?
Speaker A:Like, people need to know that you're accessible as a leader.
Speaker A:I want to talk about that because you've brought on people, you've lost some people.
Speaker A:So you've learned from these things, right?
Speaker A:What would you say have been the tenants to bringing people and keeping them here with you within your organization?
Speaker A:Because there's a lot of people listen to this that are leaders themselves and this will be very valuable for them.
Speaker B:Well, there's a lot of.
Speaker B:There's a lot there in that question.
Speaker B:But I want to break it down on a couple of.
Speaker B:On a couple of fronts.
Speaker B:So number one is, you know, when you start to build a personal brand and you start to put out content and you start to get on stages, more and more opportunities slowly open up for you.
Speaker B:And the comment I made for you was, if my.
Speaker B:If all the people that work for me see is me on stage, me in content, me and, you know, trying to build my personal brand, if that's all they see from me, then they're going to quickly go somewhere else.
Speaker B:Because they're not going to have.
Speaker B:They, it's all now become self serving to me.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And nobody wants to work in that situation.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:People want access.
Speaker B:They want to know that you are going to help them.
Speaker B:And so there's, there's two things that really have to happen.
Speaker B:Number one, anybody who, who, who works with me knows that they all have my cell.
Speaker B:They can all call me 24 7.
Speaker B:In fact, like you and I were doing a podcast.
Speaker B:I had 14 missed calls.
Speaker B:I went to my office before we did this one and I called every single person back, had a conversation and we were good, got everything back on track and now I can come and do this.
Speaker B:People know where I am.
Speaker B:So if they see me on, on like video doing a story about this, they're going to be like, oh, I wonder if I talked to him while he was doing that.
Speaker B:Like they're, they're going to.
Speaker B:Because they know they had access.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's hugely important.
Speaker B:People forget that sometimes.
Speaker B:Like people either focus too much on their brand and forget about their people or people focus on their brand and don't worry about their customers.
Speaker B:And for me, my customers are the people that are, I've employed that work from, you know, work with me, work for this company that I, I have to support them.
Speaker B:So all this, this is like side project stuff that you know, gets me um, a little bit of help in conversion when, gives people a chance to get to know me, like me and trust me before they, they truly do on a human level.
Speaker B:But, but my, my role man is I'm, I'm call, I'm dialing for dollars.
Speaker B:I'm making connection, I'm having conversations with people and that's sold.
Speaker B:That's, that's like number one.
Speaker B:So I believe that there's no, there's, there's not in my lifetime.
Speaker B:I don't believe that my social media or my personal brand will truly dictate that I don't have to ever do that.
Speaker B:Now if it does, bonus.
Speaker B:Cool.
Speaker B:Yeah, but it's never going to happen that you and me are sitting here and five DMS come in and say, I want to work with you because I saw your podcast.
Speaker B:That's not going to happen.
Speaker B:You know, now I may call somebody and they may say, I saw that podcast about you and now they're talking and now, you know, we build a relationship.
Speaker B:But, but I think as leaders you have to, you have to put your people first.
Speaker B:And as people who are or in sales, they have to put their consumers first.
Speaker A:Would you Say that that's probably in.
Speaker A:At least in our industry, in the real estate mortgage space.
Speaker A:That's probably one of the biggest management flaws.
Speaker B:I think the biggest management flaw is that there's a lot of people who want to be leaders that want the title but don't want to do the work.
Speaker B:Like, there's a guy that we hired one day, and he was like, man, I just want to follow you.
Speaker B:I want to do what you're doing, and I want to, like, I'll go city to city with you.
Speaker B:And so what he thought that I did was this glamorous job of getting on airplanes and sleeping in hotels.
Speaker B:And, you know, he thought that was glamorous.
Speaker B:But what he didn't realize that in order for me to do that, it was hundreds of calls the week before in order to set up the appointment.
Speaker B:He didn't want to do the calls.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I was like, well, you want to do what I do, but you don't want to do the work.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And there's a lot of work that has to be done.
Speaker B:I think what people don't realize is that no matter if you have some level of success, it's because there's an insane amount of prospecting that had to happen to get to that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:For me, at least.
Speaker B:I mean, you know, I don't know what it is like for you, but I.
Speaker B:I definitely have to prospect really hard.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And you walk the walk.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You've got to be doing it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And there has to be that balance.
Speaker A:But again, going back to the people that work with you and for you, like, their accessibility to you and the example that you set is so paramount to them staying, obviously, and continuing to thrive, but also to not see that you're, like, off there somewhere else and you don't care as much.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:That they're no longer the priority.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I mean, you know, there's always, you know, I have, like, 80 people that report into my world, and so I'm sure somewhere in there, there's somebody that feels like, left behind.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, but as a leader, like, you take moments in your day and you're like, who's hiding?
Speaker B:Like, who have I not talked to?
Speaker B:Who's.
Speaker B:Who's kind of like, and I have to take stock.
Speaker B:And I'm like, all right, I'm calling that person.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Hey, how's it going?
Speaker B:I haven't talked to you in a while.
Speaker B:Like, you have to.
Speaker B:You have to take stock in that.
Speaker B:But I think people think like, oh, I'm not Hearing from them, that's a good thing.
Speaker B:No, that's not a good thing for me.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:If somebody's hiding, it's because they're about to quit, and I got to make sure they don't quit.
Speaker B:This.
Speaker B:This industry is like, you know, you probably get hit on by real.
Speaker B:By recruiters all day, you know, and so that's what's happening to my people right now.
Speaker B:As I sit here with you, somebody, there's a recruiter calling my people, you.
Speaker A:Know, So, I mean, this all comes down to how you show up as a leader.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's how you show up as a leader.
Speaker A:It's how you show up in your lifestyle, with your health, which we'll touch on.
Speaker A:But you also, like, talk to me about your kids because in the way that you show up for your team and why you have to and why it's important for them to be seen to know that you are there, that they have access to you.
Speaker A:How does that.
Speaker A:Because I.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I'm sure it's the same way.
Speaker A:I've never been around you and your kids at the same time.
Speaker A:I think I've actually met them in person.
Speaker A:But how do you show up as a dad as well?
Speaker B:In the same respect, I'll start with, you know, I.
Speaker B:I will tell you that with my kids, first off, you and me, probably, maybe we differ, I don't know culturally, but I didn't have a relationship with my dad the way that my kids have a relationship with me.
Speaker B:It's vastly different.
Speaker B:Like, my kids and I talk, like, on a constant, you know, we're in a constant conversation.
Speaker B:But there is no doubt in my mind that 10 years from now I'll have regrets from what I could have, should have been doing.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But I can't really focus on that right now.
Speaker B:Like, I have a relationship that just is.
Speaker B:Is there?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, you know, like last night, I didn't even ask my son to work out, but he was like, hey, look, I'm not going to work out with you tonight, but I'll work out with you Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
Speaker B:Like, he was like, but I'm going to work out with you on these days.
Speaker B:And I didn't really ask him to, but he wants to hang out, he wants to work out.
Speaker B:And those days are going to be limited because, you know, he's 12, and eventually he's not going to want to do that.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So the relationship is there, you know, but again, there's always, like, times that I wish, you know, like, our Oldest daughter.
Speaker B:You know, we were.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:She's my stepdaughter, but I've been with her longer than.
Speaker B:Than her father was.
Speaker B:Was around.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But like, I looked at the.
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:How I was, who I was.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:I was.
Speaker B:I was a big drinker at the time.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And there was those.
Speaker B:Those hangover moments that I wish were different.
Speaker B:But I also think back that I was really immature in the way that I approached it, because I wish that I was.
Speaker B:I wish that I just stepped in as a father versus I read an article one time, and it was like, try to be the big brother, not the father.
Speaker B:And I was like, that was such bad advice because I really wish that I had been just the father and not the big brother for her.
Speaker B:And so we have a really good relationship, and she's 28 now.
Speaker B:We have a really good relationship.
Speaker B:But if anything, I wish that I could have been.
Speaker B:I could have been better the way that I am more like with my kids now versus how I was with her growing up, because she needed that and I didn't give it to her the way that I probably should have.
Speaker B:So there's a ton of regrets.
Speaker B:And part of that was like, I was.
Speaker B:My head was up my ass drinking and.
Speaker A:But I'm sure, like, now, because there's no time like the present.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, you have a relationship with.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And you're showing up in other ways, right?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I mean, like, she.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We had a really good conversation recently where, you know, she was looking for a different job, and we were like, you know, kind of strategizing around that.
Speaker B:And like, those are kinds of things that, like, I love to have conversations with, like, adult conversations with her.
Speaker B:She, you know, I'm super proud of her because she is like, she has her own house.
Speaker B:She has her own.
Speaker B:You know, she's operating as a.
Speaker B:As like an adult.
Speaker B:And, you know, it's kind of cool to have these conversations because I.
Speaker B:I feel like who she is today is because of, you know, even the industry she chose to be in is because of what I did, you know, so there's a lot there.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Well, she's lucky to have you for a step.
Speaker B:Thank you, man.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And good for you and how you're showing up that way.
Speaker A:Let's talk about lifestyle a little bit.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because you and I were talking about how we.
Speaker A:We intend to live well beyond 100.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'm going to go to 120.
Speaker A:You're going to 120.
Speaker A:I'm just.
Speaker A:I'm just going to say beyond 100.
Speaker A:Right, right.
Speaker A:And then it'll be house money we're playing with at that point.
Speaker B:I love how you say that.
Speaker A:Yeah, you, you and your wife are very like, health conscious.
Speaker A:You're committed.
Speaker A:You have.
Speaker A:Now, those of you watching this podcast that are not just listening, watching this man that I'm sitting next, you would never guess, you would think this guy is actually probably he, because he looks so good.
Speaker A:He's got the best head of hair in our industry.
Speaker A:Best head of hair.
Speaker A:He's one of the best dressed guys.
Speaker A:He's radiant, he's magnetic.
Speaker A:Skin looks good.
Speaker A:He's always smiling, he's always happy.
Speaker A:You would think this guy's 10 years younger than me.
Speaker A:You would think this.
Speaker A:But because he takes such good care of himself, his health is a priority, his lifestyle is a priority.
Speaker A:And how he shows up, like, he just, he's aging, like gracefully.
Speaker A:I feel like that's going to be your second calling is anti aging consulting, I think.
Speaker B:So we'll figure that out.
Speaker A:Yeah, you'll do it.
Speaker A:But talk to me about why or how you guys making this, like, lifestyle choice and putting this at the forefront is kind of helping shape you now, Right?
Speaker A:Because I'm sure you want your life, like the way I was telling you earlier, to have meaning and real purpose behind it.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And you want to be here for a long, long time.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm not doing like a ton of biohacking, but I do, you know, I do believe in the fact that what I put into my body, right?
Speaker B:Like what I eat, you know, I try to eat clean.
Speaker B:I try to make sure that, you know, it's very, very few and far between that I'm going to, you know, indulge into something.
Speaker B:You know, I'm just, I actually just eat for fuel for the most part.
Speaker B:You know, I'm not really, you know, like, I prefer not to go out and have a steak dinner.
Speaker B:I rather just do it myself.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because I think I'm going to cook it better anyway.
Speaker B:But I try to really be conscientious of that starting there because then I just feel better.
Speaker B:I drink a ton of water.
Speaker B:Probably drink like a gallon a day like that, you know, from 75 hard that just kind of stuck.
Speaker B:And then I work out literally every day.
Speaker B:Like, you know, I'm like, at worst, there's a 30 minute workout and.
Speaker B:And I always have 30 minutes.
Speaker B:I don't care if I'm traveling, I'm not going to Europe, you know, tomorrow, like So I always have 30 minutes that I can work out.
Speaker A:If it's late at night.
Speaker B:If it's late at night.
Speaker B:Like last night, I never work out late, but I was like, I'm not letting this day in because, like, I got home late and then I.
Speaker B:I was getting blown up, you know, just from work stuff.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And then we were kind of talking too, last night, and then I was like, all right.
Speaker B:So then at 8:30, I was like, all right, I'm gonna go.
Speaker B:I'm gonna go work out and, you know, know.
Speaker B:Got it, got it.
Speaker B:Got it in last night because I was like, I needed.
Speaker B:I can't let a day go by without doing it.
Speaker B:And so just those things really help me, you know, in terms of the energy levels, you know, like, if I miss it, for whatever reason, I'm toasty, you know, So I just.
Speaker B:I have to do it every day.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So how has it changed?
Speaker B:I mean, dude, like, this industry.
Speaker B:I mean, the amount of stress that has come from, like, the change.
Speaker B:Change and affordability and every deal is harder.
Speaker B:And underwriters, you know, you know, they're scrutinized, you know, so they make it harder too, sometimes.
Speaker B:But when you look at all that and all the stress that comes along with it, if you're drinking or you're like, not in the.
Speaker B:Like the tip top, like, that could just impact your performance.
Speaker B:So for me, I gotta have the best I have to.
Speaker B:My body and my physicality has to be in a.
Speaker B:The best position.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And it's not like where I want it to be.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:There's a growth piece with that.
Speaker B:And as, you know, as you get older, it's not easier.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But I'm looking for ways to manufacture.
Speaker B:We talked about a Manufacture energy.
Speaker B:Sharon talks about that a lot.
Speaker B:But, you know, if we could figure out ways to manufacture energy, then.
Speaker B:Then my.
Speaker B:My whole day is different.
Speaker A:And is it.
Speaker A:Has it affected, like, in a really positive way?
Speaker A:Has it made your marriage stronger that you guys are both kind of, like, kind of conscious or your wife even seeing this side of you?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, I won't say that she's, like, running around saying, you know, oh, it's.
Speaker B:It's amazing.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:Because.
Speaker B:Because the.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker A:To any of our wives.
Speaker A:No, probably not.
Speaker B:The truth of the matter is, is that, like, if I.
Speaker B:If I look back at my life, I think where I'll feel really bad more than anything is that I work a ton of hours.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And sometimes I get home and I got.
Speaker B:Not a lot left to give, you know, and that's what I.
Speaker B:My biggest regret in life will be that.
Speaker B:And that's if, if I can figure that out in the next few years, you know, really give her more time.
Speaker B:I think that, you know, she'll be happier, I'll be happier.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But I will tell you, I mean, if I was not doing what I'm doing today and I was still drinking and I would, it would be.
Speaker B:I don't even know we'd be together anymore.
Speaker B:Like, you know what I mean?
Speaker B:Because I don't think it's sustainable with the amount of stress that we were in, you know?
Speaker B:Yeah, but.
Speaker B:But today, throw whatever you want at me, I'll take it.
Speaker B:Because I'm in a better mindset than.
Speaker A:I've ever been in the space of being an entrepreneur.
Speaker A:Where, like, I heard this from Sharon that, you know, he said 80% of my day is.
Speaker A:20% is great.
Speaker A:I don't know what your quotients are.
Speaker A:I felt like when he told me that, I'm like, yeah, it sounds about right for me.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Talk to me about, like the disappointments in entrepreneurship and how you can't let these things really drag you down because you deal with.
Speaker A:You deal with shit all day.
Speaker A:Yeah, that could really sink you.
Speaker B:Well, so, okay, so I think the best way to describe this is it's like a relationship, right.
Speaker B:So I'll see somebody on Instagram.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And there's an attraction to that individual.
Speaker B:Like, like you would if you were dating somebody.
Speaker B:But it's more of an attraction from.
Speaker B:I like what they're doing, I like how they're showing up.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna start following them.
Speaker B:Right, so you follow them and then you get to know them a little bit, you start engaging and then all of a sudden you meet in person, you go on a few dates and then before you know it, they work for you.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then all of a sudden you like, have this magical moments together and you know, they're growing, you're growing, everything's great.
Speaker B:And then one day they just come to you and they're like, hey, I got a better offer.
Speaker B:I'm going to go somewhere else.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That breakup, those breakups, those like, you know, you get people to a certain level in their career.
Speaker B:Those are heartbreaking.
Speaker B:Like, I had a.
Speaker B:I had a.
Speaker B:This happened more than once, but, like had people where they started off at like 10 million dollar producers, you get them to 100 million and then they're like, I, I am too big for this.
Speaker B:Like, I am a Movie star now.
Speaker B:And I can't, you know, take your.
Speaker B:I can't take your direction anymore, because I need to go bigger.
Speaker B:And then they.
Speaker B:They leave and thinking that the grass is greener, and then you look at them and you're like, they've never done it again.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:They fell out, you know, and so those moments are heartbreaking, man.
Speaker B:But that's.
Speaker B:That's the name of the game in the business we're in.
Speaker A:Totally.
Speaker B:Just got to be ready for it.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But it never.
Speaker B:It's never easy when people.
Speaker B:When I go through breakups, like, somebody quit.
Speaker B:If somebody were to quit on me today, it'll probably be, like, two weeks before I'm like, all right, I can move on.
Speaker B:Can move on.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I take it very personal.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But it shows how much you care.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:People look at you, they see the life you live.
Speaker A:You're a great dad.
Speaker A:You're successful in our space.
Speaker A:You're a thought leader.
Speaker A:You're speaking.
Speaker A:You're doing all kinds of things.
Speaker A:So they'll think, this guy's winning.
Speaker A:Everything he touches turns to gold.
Speaker A:He's winning.
Speaker B:They don't know, oh, there's a.
Speaker A:You deal with heartbreak.
Speaker B:Heartbreak regularly.
Speaker B:Yes, that is.
Speaker B:But that's.
Speaker B:I mean, but isn't that with everybody?
Speaker B:I mean, like, you know, we all.
Speaker B:You know, I'm sure, you know, there's some level of.
Speaker B:Of disappointment that you have to go.
Speaker A:Through in your world, but all the time.
Speaker B:But for me, man, it's.
Speaker B:It's, you know, you start.
Speaker B:You look.
Speaker B:For me, I look at my day, and it starts off with, who can I help?
Speaker B:Who needs my help?
Speaker B:That works for me.
Speaker B:And once I think all that's good, then I start prospecting.
Speaker B:Prospecting never goes before the other.
Speaker B:I can't build business while my current business is not in order.
Speaker B:And in the mortgage business, you think you're good, and then tomorrow, like, five deals can go sideways, and you're just, like, fixing those to be.
Speaker B:Make sure that clients.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So it's just.
Speaker B:It's that.
Speaker B:But it's.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You want to make sure that you maintain those relationships.
Speaker B:It is hard, but that's what I do.
Speaker B:I mean, it's a weird thing to be in this industry, but it's what I do.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I feel like I'm relatively good at it.
Speaker A:No, you're very good at it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I mean, it's not.
Speaker A:Again, I just say, like, people just don't get.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Every industry deals with ups, downs, and there's people losing all the Time.
Speaker A:I think in this world of social media, people are sensationalized with just thinking, that guy must be winning.
Speaker A:It's so easy for him, what's happening.
Speaker A:But they don't recognize the struggle because so many of us don't post or share about the struggle.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:Right now the optics are that we share the good moments.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:I did one time, I did talk about it, and I.
Speaker B:I asked Trevor, like, for advice on this.
Speaker B:This post.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And he was like, dude, are you guys okay?
Speaker B:Are you in trouble?
Speaker B:Like, that's all I got out of it.
Speaker B:And I was like, well, I'm trying to be vulnerable and let people know that this isn't always like, is that.
Speaker B:No, I wouldn't post that again.
Speaker A:Really?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I mean, you know, and I do appreciate it.
Speaker B:I mean, whether I take the advice or not, but, like, some of the things I love when I see a loan officer say I think what some mortgage did at one time, he was like, I'm just sitting here waiting for the underwriter to let me know if my deal is going to go through.
Speaker B:And this is what some.
Speaker B:This is men, right?
Speaker B:Win.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You think he knows everything.
Speaker B:So why would an underwriter be.
Speaker B:You know, he's like, no, I called them and I was like, I'm men.
Speaker B:When don't you know who I am?
Speaker B:And they're like, we don't give a.
Speaker A:Shit who you are.
Speaker B:Like, you're waiting to see if your deal is going to go through.
Speaker B:So he's like, I'm just sitting here waiting.
Speaker B:And I was like, that, to me, made me like him even more because he was honest about, you know, that we go through.
Speaker B:Have you ever sat waiting for a deal from an underwriter, just sitting there waiting?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You can't do anything.
Speaker A:No, it's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's the most powerless position in the world, or one of them.
Speaker A:I shouldn't, you know, more serious ones.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker B:Yeah, but.
Speaker B:Yeah, but it's one of those things where I respect that, you know, when somebody can be honest about that feeling that we all have gone through, that we're waiting.
Speaker B:So I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't mind telling.
Speaker B:I don't mind sharing the, The.
Speaker A:The journey side of it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:The loss.
Speaker B:You lose people, man, it sucks.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:People want to hear the jokers.
Speaker A:They think it's better and it's part of the journey.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And in.
Speaker A:In the spirit of journey, is there.
Speaker A:This is a much broader question, but I just want you to find if there's one specific one that you feel our audience would really benefit from hearing or that you maybe haven't shared with others?
Speaker A:Was there a moment in your upbringing, in your development, maybe in your ongoing development as a person, as a professional, as a dad, as a husband?
Speaker A:Whatever it was, that was a bit of a mo.
Speaker A:Like it was a light bulb moment or an aha that has really played into your, you know, into your present work.
Speaker A:Like, did something happen?
Speaker A:Maybe it was something during formal years or childhood that you can look back on and you still draw strength or still draw inspiration or lessons from it.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, there's.
Speaker B:There's this thing that I think a lot of people deal with that don't really understand.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And somehow I figured out a way to understand it.
Speaker B:But first off, we grew up.
Speaker B:You know, there were times where we had government cheese or government.
Speaker B:We were on food stamps or whatever.
Speaker B:And I remember.
Speaker B:I remember the.
Speaker B:Like, I'll never forget this one day that I came home and my dad was laying on his bed and he had his, like, hand on it, on his head like that.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I remember like on his forehead, you know, kind of just like sitting there.
Speaker B:And I remember, you know, and then mom was like, oh, he lost his job.
Speaker B:Like, dad lost his job, right?
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I remember being like, okay, what are we going to do?
Speaker B:Because I already.
Speaker B:I would always he.
Speaker B:I knew enough to know that we were already like, barely making ends meet.
Speaker B:So, like, what does this mean?
Speaker B:You know?
Speaker B:And then I remember them talking about, like, how they had to get food stamps, but, like, they didn't want to go because somebody down the street, one of my friend's dads, worked the counter at the food stamp place and they didn't want him to see.
Speaker B:And then the whole neighborhood know that we were getting on food stamps.
Speaker B:And I was just like.
Speaker B:That was like the.
Speaker B:The my life, right?
Speaker B:And so how old were you, Chris?
Speaker B:Probably like eight maybe, you know, eight to 10.
Speaker B:And I remember thinking, so.
Speaker B:So skip to Tracy and I have always lived below our means on purpose because we take.
Speaker B:We would just buy more houses.
Speaker B:So we.
Speaker B:We just invest, invest, invest.
Speaker B:But we were always living like a.
Speaker B:Below our means in a smaller, you know, house or whatever.
Speaker B:And so finally one day we were like, let's just buy the house we want, right?
Speaker B:So we bought this house and.
Speaker B:And I remember driving down the street and by the way, we bought the ugliest house in the nicest neighborhood, right?
Speaker B:And then we had to fix it up.
Speaker B:But I remember driving and seeing a house on a corner and Being like, one day I might.
Speaker B:I might before I die, be able to buy that house.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then I did the math because I'm in the business, and I was like, wait a minute.
Speaker B:I could buy the house, like, four times over.
Speaker B:I just chose not to.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, I just.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We have decided that this is the route to go.
Speaker B:But then when we moved into the house and it was all set up, I remember thinking, this isn't really my house.
Speaker B:I'm just kind of hanging out here.
Speaker B:This is Tracy's house.
Speaker B:Like, she did the whole thing.
Speaker B:She.
Speaker B:I'm kind of a detachment piece.
Speaker B:Because.
Speaker B:Arjun.
Speaker B:I just started realizing that I wasn't worthy of that house.
Speaker B:Like, even though my entire income and everything that we've done and the Millie, like, we're millionaires.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:It's a weird thing to say, but we are like, yeah, right.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I just am detached from that idea because I have never grown up really with that being an option.
Speaker B:So even though I've hit it and I've made it and there's been some success, I still approach everything as if I'm.
Speaker B:I can go poor tomorrow, bro.
Speaker B:And I'd be okay.
Speaker B:I could eat, you know, baloney sandwiches and be okay.
Speaker B: Like, when: Speaker B:I'm like, I will be poor tomorrow, and I'm okay with it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, I remember where to buy the meat.
Speaker B:I was like, I go to four different grocery stores because I knew where the sales were, you know, and I was okay with that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I don't know if that's kind of what you were leading with, but I do think that there is a worthiness piece that.
Speaker B:Whether, you know, and then sometimes I just got to say, like, I'm going to do it, and it happens.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Manifest it.
Speaker B:But I think a lot of us get caught up in how our upbringing was and that we're not worthy of it, and we have to break through those things.
Speaker B:And I figured out ways to do it.
Speaker B:I'm not fully there, but I'm only, like, a year and a half, truly, in my adult life, coping with the feel of things, you know, and, like, how to understand my emotions.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker B:But there's a worthiness.
Speaker B:Like, somebody said one time, like, hey, when you're dealing with loan officers, some don't realize that they could make $500,000.
Speaker B:Like, they don't believe they're worthy of it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:They're okay.
Speaker B:At a hundred thousand and they stop working at that point.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:They had a hundred thousand in six months.
Speaker B:They stopped working.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's a limiting belief.
Speaker B:And I realize I have that and I have.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:And I have to work through it.
Speaker B:It's like for me, it's like I just inch a little bit further and inch a little bit further and inch a little bit further and I get through it.
Speaker B:Like, you were telling me you asked me a question.
Speaker B:I don't even think you realize.
Speaker B:You're like, if I got you a speaking gig tomorrow, would you do it?
Speaker B:Because I was saying, I'm going to wait because I'm working on a few things and I'm going to get some coaching around it and I want to have a dope, you know, speech.
Speaker B:And you're like, yeah, but I got it for you tomorrow.
Speaker B:Would you do.
Speaker B:I was like, fuck, yeah, I do it.
Speaker B:And I was like, why was I limiting?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And you caught it to call me out on it, but in a nice way to say, well, what if I got it for you?
Speaker B:Would you do it?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I was like, yeah, do it.
Speaker B:You know, so it's those little things that limit ourselves.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I think I learned that I have to just keep pushing and keeping recognizing the fact that my upbringing doesn't define who I'm going to be.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Your biography.
Speaker A:Destiny.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:It lives with me every day.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But I think you like.
Speaker A:So this nice confluence of that experience and that was a very vulnerable and honest share.
Speaker A:And I appreciate you sharing that at that moment with your dad losing his job, I could see that.
Speaker A:I feel like all immigrant f.
Speaker A:Because your father was an immigrant.
Speaker A:That whole handover, that it was the feeling of exhaustion or defeat.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Or the look of it.
Speaker A:Whenever my dad would do it, I could tell he just had a long day.
Speaker A:If he was laying even just leaning back in a chair and he had his hand over his head, like, yeah, he didn't want to see out.
Speaker A:But I'm seeing that as a boy who probably, like, was looking up to his dad and seeing like, that's your superman.
Speaker A:And then you saw that my dad just lost his job.
Speaker A:Like, I mean, that could be crushing to an 8 year old, but.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:What I love about you, man, and this just made me even just raise the level of respect I have for you in so many more ways.
Speaker A:I didn't know it could go any higher, but it just did, was that you have forever remained humble because of those moments and what your family had to Go through where you've net.
Speaker A:You never.
Speaker A:You never are outside yourself.
Speaker A:That Chris Medean that grew up in this family system and with his parents and still stuck together.
Speaker A:And even though there was shame around and it was hard and it sucked, and it was painful to see your dad go through that, and then probably the disappointment for your mom, and then it probably meant that you guys got.
Speaker A:Had to do less.
Speaker A:Got to do less things or experience less things or whatever, but you've never lost sight of that, right?
Speaker A:Because there was always something bigger or something more important.
Speaker A:Or maybe it was.
Speaker A:It was love.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Love for the family.
Speaker A:And still, like, we're gonna stick together.
Speaker A:We're gonna be resilient.
Speaker A:And it shows up.
Speaker A:This is why I can see it now, man.
Speaker A:This is why you are who you are.
Speaker A:This is it.
Speaker A:This is a huge, core part of you, man.
Speaker A:You're relentless.
Speaker A:You're not going to give up.
Speaker A:You also, you've been.
Speaker A:You've been to the bottom, right?
Speaker A:So you're not afraid of any setback?
Speaker B:Not afraid at all.
Speaker A:You're not.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:You said today in your speech, you're like, I can start over.
Speaker B:I'm like, oh, bro, I'll start over tomorrow.
Speaker B:Sometimes I think it'll be even easier.
Speaker A:Maybe know what to do now, right?
Speaker B:I know what to do now.
Speaker A:Like, and even saying all that with your wife, like, I'll be poor tomorrow, like, and you, that you fact that you live, like, this is a great lesson for everyone because we're in a society right now and in a space where everyone wants to live beyond their means.
Speaker A:They'll have two of something when they could maybe deal with just half of it, you know, in reality.
Speaker A:But they want to because there's this race or this image to keep up with the Joneses or to impress other people or whatever, but there's no longevity in that.
Speaker A:And how you're living all those.
Speaker A:You guys listening?
Speaker A:You just got a master class.
Speaker A:And how to make sure that you set yourself up well.
Speaker A:But generationally do this.
Speaker A:Just live well within your means and invest or get your money working for you in other spaces.
Speaker A:Because that's exactly what Chris and his family are done.
Speaker A:That's why they're millionaires, and that's why there will be millionaires several times over.
Speaker A:And, you know, and this is a great tribute.
Speaker A:And you know what, man?
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:I'll tell you this because I say this about my brother and what he's done for our family's name, your father, in that moment and what you witnessed and Whatever you felt, because I felt it with you as you were saying it and how you're living today and the resilient success that you are, and this great dad or whatever man, you have put respect on your father's name.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:It's your name.
Speaker A:And it's something you should never, ever lose sight of, brother.
Speaker A:Like, be very proud of that.
Speaker A:Because I, like I said, I.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:It made me, like, love you even more, man.
Speaker A:Thank you for this story, brother.
Speaker A:And I think, yeah, I think I'm.
Speaker B:Just trying to hold my together.
Speaker B:I'm all, like, hot.
Speaker B:I'm sweating.
Speaker B:Like, thank you, but.
Speaker B:But thank you for saying that.
Speaker B:It's hard to hear because that's one of the things that I'm not good at is hearing those sort of things that goes back to.
Speaker B:There's this worthiness thing that I have to deal with.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But I do appreciate it.
Speaker A:And you are worthy of it, brother.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:And you, you prove it every day, even though there's that humility in you, such grave humility.
Speaker A:Maybe think that you're not or to just know where you came from, what you know.
Speaker A:I've talked about this on my podcast, and we'll kind of round it out here with this.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:I gave you a little bit of a hint when we were on your show earlier that I ask a lot of my guest this because you're at a stage in life where I'm sure you're taking stock in what your life means and the impact that you're having and what Chris Medean is, means to our industry, means to his community, means to his family, means to other people.
Speaker A:But if, at your funeral, if there's.
Speaker A:Regardless of how many people show up at it, what is the one word that you want?
Speaker A:The children in attendance, your children, your great grandchildren, your grandkids, whatever.
Speaker A:Like, everyone that's going to be there if there's a word that they need to remember.
Speaker A:Chris.
Speaker A:Medi and by.
Speaker A:And then you'll know that your life was complete or that it really meant what you wanted it to mean.
Speaker A:Is there something that comes to mind?
Speaker B:T H E R E He was there.
Speaker A:He was there.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:My back.
Speaker B:He was there.
Speaker A:He was there.
Speaker A:And that is definitely Chris.
Speaker A:I can tell you that being a friend of this guy, he's always there if you need him, you want to call, even if he's busy, he makes time.
Speaker A:Like the way he shows up for his people at his company.
Speaker A:This is no exaggeration.
Speaker A:That's how he is for everybody in his life.
Speaker A:Man, he's a good friend.
Speaker A:He's a really good friend.
Speaker A:I love that word.
Speaker A:No one's ever given me that one there.
Speaker B:Thank you, man.
Speaker A:I've never heard that one.
Speaker A:That's a very original and I'll always remember it as being yours.
Speaker B:Thank you, man.
Speaker A:Another question, Chris, that I kind of wrap the show with all the time.
Speaker A:This has been great.
Speaker A:You know, I appreciate how vulnerable you've been, how honest, and I got to know a different side of you that I didn't even know.
Speaker A:And so this was a gift for me.
Speaker A:But what.
Speaker A:No right or wrong answer.
Speaker A:What does LFG energy mean to you?
Speaker B:Well, man, I mean, I think after hearing, you know, your story about and.
Speaker B:And what, how I've kind of narrated, built the narrative around that meaning.
Speaker B:It's this ability to take in, you know, everything that has culminated or happened as collective instances throughout your entire life and use that to your advantage to say, let's just fucking go.
Speaker B:Let's, let's.
Speaker B:What's holding me back?
Speaker B:Nothing.
Speaker B:Like, let's go, right?
Speaker B:And there's magical moments that I can go back to in my life that I remember that feeling of being like, untouchable.
Speaker B:But in that moment, looking back, I'm like, what was I thinking?
Speaker B:I was at the most vulnerable place and I gave zero fucks.
Speaker B:I was like, let's just fucking go.
Speaker B:And so, you know, to hear your story around it, and you guys have to listen to my podcast to hear it.
Speaker B:He, you know, to hear your story around the friendships and the things that happen to get you to that moment of let's go, that will forever change me in those moments.
Speaker B:Like I will be in a moment maybe this week where I'm doubting myself and say, I remember Arjun telling that story where he was in a coliseum.
Speaker B:And if I, if I can let that propel me, that's it.
Speaker B:So that's what it's about, man.
Speaker B:And I think the magic of non stop believe in yourself, you know, and you're worthy of it.
Speaker B:That's what it's about for me.
Speaker A:It's a beautiful answer.
Speaker A:I appreciate it, Chris, and I thank you for giving me the time and space and you also being so open and vulnerable with our audience on this show, it's meant a lot.
Speaker A:This has been an amazing episode.
Speaker A:I've enjoyed every second of it and was moved, very moved at various points in it.
Speaker A:I'll tell you this.
Speaker A:He said it and I said it.
Speaker A:Industry, all industries, but ours in particular, because that's the one we're talking about sometimes filled with lots of.
Speaker A:And lots of disappointment.
Speaker A:The breakups, the letdowns, the loss of income, the thing that you thought was there.
Speaker A:And then you wake up in the morning, it's not like there's lots of it, but there are a lot of great gifts along the way.
Speaker A:And one up for me, without a doubt, one gift that has that I really covet and treasure has been the connection and friendship with this guy through this industry.
Speaker A:I wouldn't have met him if I didn't, if I wasn't in this industry.
Speaker A:But it's something I really value.
Speaker A:So for all the 80 of, I get the other 20.
Speaker A:And moments like this make it well worth it.
Speaker A:So, Chris, thanks for this, brother.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:I appreciate you, man.
Speaker B:Let me say a couple things to you, because if.
Speaker B:If.
Speaker B:For those that are listening to your audience specifically, you've had these amazing, amazing guests that have been on this podcast.
Speaker B:Some deeply humbled and flattered that you asked me to do this, and I hope that somebody out there was touched by maybe one thing that we talked about.
Speaker B:But, dude, I mean, I can't say enough about the human that you are and what you're willing to do to go above and beyond for people that you're tight with and that you, you know, and you said something today in the meeting.
Speaker B:You talked about this gas thing, which is give a.
Speaker B:And I think that you know, your story and your life and the things that you do and where you put your energy is because you give a.
Speaker B:And you care about the people that are around you, including me.
Speaker B:And it means a lot that you gave me a platform and, you know, a glimpse into your audience to share my story.
Speaker B:So thank you.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I am forever grateful that you allowed me to do this.
Speaker A:It was a gift for you, man.
Speaker A:It was a privilege.
Speaker A:But thank you, brother, for being honest.
Speaker A:All right, guys, we'll see you on the next show.
Speaker B:Thank you, guys.
