Evaluating Losses | Ep 27

Arjun: 00:00:00

Wins do not teach you anything. A win simply rewards you for being prepared and seizing an opportunity or a moment.

When you are prepared, you will actually be in position to notice and seize the opportunity that's in front of you. Welcome back to the show.

Today's topic is a really important one because if you watch interviews, sometimes, sometimes with athletes or a team, a coach will take the podium. Sometimes it might just be a public figure who's dealing with a setback or a loss.

And you'll hear the expression, well, it's back to the drawing board. We got to go back to the drawing board on this one.

There's a lot of power in that, and I feel like society in general has gotten away from what that really means and actually just gets back to work, rather than overlooking a really, really crucial step, which is to take a loss or take a setback and find ways to own it and improve upon it. And I'm talking about putting this thing under the microscope and analyzing it.

And today I want to share with you a formula that I've personally used and a blueprint for how you evaluate losses, how you learn from them and take them and turn them into actual lessons so that they don't repeat themselves. Now, like I said, most people just skip this step and go back to working hard.

They get back into the gym, they go back to the boardroom, they go back behind their desk or whatever it is, and they just get back to working. And this will help you to a large degree because there's nothing wrong with doing the work.

But unless you actually analyze what went wrong and have some kind of a system or a formula for how you're going to attack this better the next time and make the right improvements, and that's the key word, or key words, I should say, the right improvements, you can just get back and start doing work. But maybe that's not actually what you needed to do.

Perhaps there was a few other things that you're overlooking, that if you make some tweaks or adjustments there, it's going to show up huge the next time you're actually out there creating output or performing or taking the exam or making the pitch or competing as an athlete. So let's first talk about wins and losses. Now, wins do not teach you anything.

A win simply rewards you for being prepared and seizing an opportunity or a moment when you are prepared, you will actually be in position to notice and seize the opportunity that's in front of you.

Again, whether you're an athlete, a business person, a college student, whatever it is that you're about to do that, something big, if you've prepared for it in the right way.

And we've talked a lot about this in previous podcast episodes, so make sure you tune in and check out those ones for those formulas and how to prepare.

And also recognizing the difference when you're prepared between being nervous and actually just knowing or recognizing that you're truly ready for that big moment. But when you're prepared and you hit that intersection of seizing the opportunity, that is what a win is.

By definition, a win doesn't teach you anything. Again, it just simply rewards you for those two things intersecting, being prepared and seizing the opportunity.

Now, losses can be these things that are so negative, but it's all about reframing. Losses, to me, and I think to a lot of you that are listening to this, are not losses. They're not an indictment on you.

They're not a state of permanence. They're actually an opportunity. They're a lesson. There's lessons in losses. They're not in the wins. Again, the win is just giving you the reward.

You'll never learn anything from a win. You learn from your losses. And if you learn enough from them, you make sure that they don't repeat themselves.

So think back yourself to a loss or a setback that you had, and maybe you were being really hard on yourself and saying, this is probably going to define me. It's hovered over you like a black cloud and kind of affected you.

And other future things that you've done or future attempts to either perform or take that exam again or make that pitch or be around certain types of people or compete in the arena, whatever it is. Setbacks and losses are not an indictment on you. Again, they're an opportunity.

And I want to go over with you now my formula, which I call the four P's for how to actually analyze a loss. And I want you to take a recent setback or loss, something that's clear in your mind.

Maybe you felt it just a matter of weeks ago, days ago, maybe you felt it yesterday. Or think back to a real serious one that is still hanging over you, even though it's so far in the past.

This would be a great opportunity to use this formula and break things down so that you can actually learn from it. And you might find that you are actually a lot closer to the result you wanted than you thought with a few tweaks.

So this 4P formula is how we actually break things down. And you can take out a sheet of paper and just write Them down. The first piece when evaluating a loss is purpose.

Now, purpose is synonymous with mission.

If the mission was strong enough, if the mission was clear enough, if the mission was burning enough of a fire inside of you, then your purpose is strong and you've maxed out in that category. But you want to ask yourself again, in evaluating a previous loss and doing this first P which is purpose, what was I doing this for?

Who was I doing it for? Because at the end of the day, doing something just for the sake of doing something is not enough.

You're just checking a box and like the expression goes, you're essentially just half assing it. And that is not the essence of LFG energy.

LFG energy is going all out with whatever you have and being your best regardless of circumstance and going in with a full ass to just basically use an expression instead of a half ass.

So if you find that your purpose in this recent setback that you're evaluating now today with me was not really clear or strong, you might know right then and there why you actually fell short. Because again, if the purpose isn't strong, then there isn't truly a mission and there isn't something that you're really doing this for.

You're just again doing it for the sake of doing it. So going forward so that you avoid this from happening again, figure out what that is. Is it to honor the memory of someone?

Is it to silence that inner critic? Is it to quiet all those naysayers and negative people in your life that told you you can't do this, you'll never amount to anything.

This is impossible for you to do. Whatever that limiting belief is that has held you back. That's how you want to build around this and create that mission and purpose.

The next P is people. And this one is really overlooked by a lot of folks.

We tend to be so focused on the work that we're doing in trying to achieve a certain mission that we're on or attain that goal or get that win that we forget who we're actually surrounding ourselves with. Now, it is sage old advice that you are the sum of the people you hang out with.

And if you show me your crowd, you show me your friends, I'll show you your future. And that really applies when you evaluate a loss. Ask yourself, who was I surrounding myself with? What kinds of people were being let closest to me?

Or did I keep really close that maybe I shouldn't have during that time? What was my team like?

The people that were working with me, my coaches, my Advisors, my team, teachers, my mentors, and also what was going on in my personal life.

I've got an expression that I heard from a former guest on this podcast that told me, if you have cracks in your personal life, they will show up as craters in your professional life. Make sure that you deal with what's going on in the personal world so that it doesn't have an effect on the outside world.

This is really powerful when it comes to this particular P of people. So look back at all the people that were closest to you and ask yourself, were they actually adding to me?

Were they pouring into my life and being sources of positivity, creativity, energy, motivation, or were they taking from me? Were these negative sources? Were they actually draining me in my energy and ultimately affecting my output?

Look, every time I've accomplished something great in my life, if I look back, the people around me, the tribe, everything was in alignment. It was at a hundred percent. These were the people that, that I knew would have taken a bullet for me and vice versa.

We were so in lockstep with one another that there was just this positive energy, lfg energy that was fueling me towards that end goal or finish line.

So look back and see, because I can also honestly tell you when I evaluate my losses or my setbacks, the people around me weren't quite at a hundred percent. There was some negative influence.

Maybe it was a crack in my personal life that was showing up as a crater in this output or in this professional life.

Maybe it was someone that I was close to that I was keeping close because it was an obligation or what have you, and they were actually draining from me. But if you look yourself, you will find that in your setbacks, it's very likely that the people around you were not at 100%.

So that is something to definitely evaluate and clean up the next time around.

Because if that was a big part of your setback, as you do this analysis, you want to make sure going forward that you keep that circle tight and that exposure very limited and selective to people that are only going to add to your cause and mission. The next P is a very important one as well, and it's process.

Now, there are a lot of expressions that we hear out there like fall in love with the process, fixate on the process, trust the process, and I'll get to those in just a second because they do apply. But this also comes back to a really old expression, which is, are you being busy or are you being productive?

There's a lot of things within our processes Sometimes that we're doing, but they aren't actually in alignment or they aren't actually going to help us with that end goal. They're just keeping us busy, but they're not productive in all the right ways.

They're not efficiently using our time and resources and energy to help push us towards that finish line.

So if you look at your process in evaluating a previous loss, the buildup, the preparation, everything leading up to that moment, ask yourself if all that work you were doing and break it down into actual steps. Don't look at the work as a total body.

Look at every individual bit of training or preparation or practice, whatever it was that you were doing to build up for this, and ask yourself, was it actually helping me get towards that end goal or was it just advice I was taking to keep myself busy because somebody told me I should do this or I thought it would make me better, Was it fueling my ego essentially? Were these just extras?

Because I promise you, again, in my own personal losses, there were times when I look back and think about all the things that I was doing to prepare for that. And some of them didn't really need to be on there. They were just extras.

And look, it's totally natural for us to succumb to these extras or almost take or want to take them on, because they're everywhere.

They're offered to us everywhere on social media, they're offered to us by the peanut gallery, they're offered to us by everyone who's around us saying, you should do this, because everyone's got an opinion. Of course, that's why, going back to the former P, people are very, very important. And you want to keep people around you, of course, that have.

Have achieved what you want to achieve or that are in alignment with your core beliefs and process. But rarely does any of this actually serve us well. So here's how you're going to do it.

When you're putting together your own process, if you're new to something and you're doing it for the first time, you want to study and talk to people that have done what you're setting out to accomplish. They've achieved that same goal. And look, success leaves clues. So if they've done it, there's your blueprint right there.

You can learn from these people and take a framework and immediately apply it or tailor it to your own personal energy.

See how they did it, what their details were, what they were maniacal about, how did they analyze things as they were constantly improving and trying to make changes and adjustments and Then just copy it. You never want to seek advice and processes from people that haven't done what you're trying to do or simply because you just trust them.

Maybe it's because they're a family member and this can be a little bit of a hard call when you're putting together your own process. But again, go with those that have actually done what you're trying to do because they cannot steal steer you wrong.

Once you have this process outlined and defined and if you look back in evaluating a previous loss, maybe the process wasn't so clear, but now going forward, focus on it.

And I use the analogy of like a New Year's resolution, most people and the reason why New Year's resolutions fail is they write them down, stick them in a drawer and then all of a sudden about 11 months later they pull them out and realize, oh crap, I haven't accomplished any of this stuff. Why? Because there was no process to actually get there.

A goal is nothing more than just words written down on a paper or something etched in your memory.

Unless there's a process behind it, systematic follow through and steps to improve incrementally and stack wins on top of each other day by day, you're never going to actually accomplish that thing. And this is why process is important.

So once you actually set out in your mission, your purpose is clear, the people who are around you are all in alignment and your tribe is at a hundred percent. Your process, when you figure this out and detail it is what you need to maniacally be focused on.

Get in there and just focus on trying to improve a little bit every day so that you're taking steps incrementally towards that goal. It's not going to happen in huge leaps and bounds, it's going to happen slowly.

But if you set up enough time, if your process is right, you will be there. The last P is evaluating your performance. So if we look back again at a recent setback or loss, how did you actually perform?

How did you do under those bright lights? How did you execute? How were you on the big stage? How did you perform?

Now this is something you have to be very honest about because if we look back on all of the other P's that we've talked about, they all lead into ultimately what's going to be the final output, which is the performance itself.

If the people around you were good, if the purpose was there, if the process was solid and you were 100% committed to it, then the performance should take care of itself. So I have performance listed Last, because everything kind of adds up and it's the same sum of all the other P's.

But even then, you want to analyze it and see, how did we perform? This is why athletes and sports teams go back to the tape.

They want to evaluate what was the performance like, where could we have done some things different?

Now, they're not necessarily focused on a lot of those other P's, because in these moments, because things are happening so fast and evolving so quickly, they've got to do it in real time. And they have to just be focused on the output or the actions that are going forth. So they have to make adjustments quickly.

But if you look at your own performance, ask yourself, how was it truly? And where could I have been a little bit different? Were nerves playing into this?

And there was a previous podcast episode I did which was about the art of performance.

Because as I mentioned in that episode, and it's worthy of saying here again, the better performer will always win on the day of they will outperform or exceed what the person who's better qualified. This has happened in politics, this has happened in Sports. It's why 16 seed beats a number one seed in March Madness. It's why the upset happens.

It's why the new person blasts on the scene and beats someone who has been there for a long time. It's why you lost that deal to someone who has a lot less experience than you. And your ego is bruised now and you're wondering, how did this happen?

It's simply because they perform better. They may not have been better, they just performed better. But you'll want to check out that previous podcast episode on performance.

So while watching a recent setback or loss and looking at it under the microscope in terms of your performance can be really tough because sometimes it's connects you with bad memories. It's something that you're having to relive all over again. It's very important that you do this.

So if you have film or you have memories or you have someone that you can talk to that was there during that time, maybe it was someone that was critiquing you or grading you. Whatever it was, get back in there and analyze your performance and think about what adjustments you could have made.

Could your confidence have been different? Could your energy have been different? Did all of the other P's not play as strong of a role as they now will for you going forward?

Because you have this formula, figure those things out and you'll ultimately be able to tweak your performance. But again, this 4P formula has been fail proof for me. Every time I've had a loss or a setback, I've gone back to this.

But before I even have the loss or the setback so that I can avoid it from happening even at all, I will do this in my preparation once I actually set out to do something. So I hope this episode was really helpful for you guys and that you got some great takeaways.

And again, it's my goal and mission here out of this episode, specifically that you take a recent setback or loss, put it under the microscope, and as I open up this episode, use that expression, get back to the drawing board. Because that's what the drawing board is. The drawing board is analyzing it.

It's putting it under the microscope and figuring out what we need to do, what went wrong, what tweaks do we need to make and analyzing who is around us. Was our purpose really strong? Was the mission clear? Were the people good? Was the process there?

And ultimately how did that show up in the performance? Now I want to hear back from you guys on this.

So if you listen to this episode and quickly get back to the board and start analyzing a recent setback or loss, drop me a comment or send me a note on Instagram June Mortgage and let me know how you did it and if you found this exercise to be really helpful. Thanks for listening guys and I will see you on the next episode.