Your Purpose Over Success with Trent Shelton | Ep 15

Trent: 00:00:00

As far as being an introvert, it doesn't mean that you're shy, you know? I mean, I'm just an observer. My grandmother taught me growing up that when you speak, make sure your words count.

And if you want to make your words count and have value, don't always talk.

Arjun: 00:00:19

Trent, I appreciate you, brother, coming on, man. I can't think of a better fitted guest for the LFG energy podcast because you embody it from head to toe.

So thank you for taking the time to be with me here today, man. The first thing I want to talk about is losing. You talk a lot about this.

Trent: 00:00:34

Yeah.

Arjun: 00:00:34

And I know there's this expression I follow that you have to lose. So sometimes you can win. Yeah, we have to go through that and embrace it. What is step one in that for you and losing and then turning that around?

Trent: 00:00:44

Yeah, I mean, I think you hit the nail in the head. Um, I always say, uh, sometimes you have to lose certain things to gain better things. That sounds good. But losing sucks, right? It hurts.

But sports has taught me that in order to win, you have to learn how to lose. And so I think the first step is the acceptance of that, right? Not an acceptance of, like, this has to be my life.

But, you know, I'm at a place where I lost something, so I'm not going to ignore it. I'm going to embrace it. Because you'll never fix what you're not willing to face.

And most people try to run from their battle and expect to win the war. I always say you'll never win your war by running from your battles. So face it. And then I'm really big on perspective.

Like, shift your perspective towards it. Like, what is this trying to teach me? What is this going to teach me? Not even try, because you're in control of the meanings you give things.

So I'm always being very mindful of what this means, because if I say this means that, you know, I know where I have football, my life is over. I'm going to find support and evidence of that. I would say, you know what? Football is over. But there's a new beginning to my life.

I'm going to search for that. So meanings are everything. So I think the first step is accepting it. Then what meaning do you wanna create from it?

Arjun: 00:01:48

rticularly difficult year. In: 2021

You lost your mother, God bless her, and you nearly lost your daughter. The following year. You tell your achilles it's probably like, man, if there's a black cloud over me, like, this is it, right?

Trent: 00:02:07

Yeah.

Arjun: 00:02:08

How does. I mean, we're talking about turning losing into winning. How does that happen in that context? Where do you find the win there?

Trent: 00:02:14

Yeah.

It was tough for me because I was just having a conversation with a young lady for make a wish, and she had typed in her phone, like, why does it have to happen to me? And sometimes we think, like, man, why did this have to happen? Like, this is not fair. And I was upset, bro.

But once I got my emotions under control, I said, you know what? This is going to be the greatest gift. And I realized, I don't know about you, but I'm a terrible gift rapper. Like, I'm. I suck. Like, I'm terrible.

Like, the kids are like, what is this? Like, my wife is so. But my kids love my gifts. Cause they know inside the rap is a beautiful gift, usually something that they really like.

And I believe life is like that. Life is a terrible gift wrapper at times, but it gives you a beautiful gift. And the beautiful giving with my mother was. Yes. She transitioned.

I now have an angel that's with me forever. I don't like to say word loss. I actually gained. She gained peace. She gained healing. My mom's my request for my mother.

I prayed, and I even told her, I said, I want you to be healed, whether that's a spiritual healing or a physical healing. And she got her spiritual healing. And so I'm always trying to find the gift and everything. So it taught me how to appreciate moments.

It showed me forever. It comes with an expiration date. It does. Like, just like this. We're all on alone. We're on alone with our businesses, along with me, with my sport.

Everything doesn't last forever with our wife, with our spouse, with our friends. And so it taught me how to appreciate everything.

So that season, even though it was hard, it was probably the best season for my life to shift my perspective.

Arjun: 00:03:38

People look at you and they would say, you win all the time. Like, you. You're the. You look like a winner, right? In your physical stature, you carry yourself that magnetic smile. You're on stages.

You're speaking your book.

Trent: 00:03:50

Yeah.

Arjun: 00:03:51

Huge following on social media. Like, it looks like everything you touch turns to gold. Where are you losing, man?

Trent: 00:03:57

Right?

Arjun: 00:03:58

Like, where are you losing? Where are you falling short?

Trent: 00:04:00

Yeah. I think that's what they see.

Like, they don't see the struggle in writing a book, where we go through so many different drafts and copies that I'm like, I'm not writing this book no more. Right. They don't see the speeches.

y YouTube, you can go back to: 2012

Like, when I'm on stage, people don't realize that that's often my therapy. You know, of course I'm trying to help people, but also I'm helping myself.

And so even in this season right now, I have a book called protect your peace. And this season has taught me how to protect my peace so much while even promoting the book because I'm pulling. I'm getting grabbed everywhere.

Like, you know, I'm a very priority driven person. So, like, I don't like being gone for my kids. And so I'm having to balance all these things I'm having.

You know, I had just a setback, quote unquote, a few weeks ago that was probably like a quarter million dollars, like partnership that ended, right. All these things are happening. But what I tell myself, it's a gift because I know certain doors have to close so better doors can open.

So I just always tell myself that.

Arjun: 00:05:09

So you see it as a gift. How does Trent, though, bounce back from a quarter million dollar loss?

Trent: 00:05:13

Yeah, I trust myself. Like, I've been through adversity. I think adversity, you know, Wayne has a line. He says, I looked in the face of death and took his mask off.

And I loves that line because I believe adversity is a mask for opportunity. You got to take the mask off. Adversity. Adversity. If you're trying to be legendary, trying to grow, you're going to go through those things.

Like me making it to the NFL, there was so much adversity that was there, quote unquote. But really it was an opportunity to show what I was really made of and what I'm really built for it.

And so I smile at these times because, yeah, it's hard, but I'm showing that I'm resilient. We all want to grow, but we don't want to go through growing pains. So I'm showing myself this is growth moment.

So, yeah, when I go through that, it's tough, but I always tell myself it's building me, you know, and I have people around me that remind me, too. Cause, you know, sometimes we can just depend on our human self and we let ourselves down. But I have people around me that remind me.

Hey, man, you've been through this before. Hey, man, it's all right. Hey, things are gonna change. And so I think that's very important to have the right circle around you, too.

Arjun: 00:06:14

Yes. And on the topic of circle, because for LFG, energy, a big essence of it is community.

It's tribe, it's the people around you that support which we all need for you. Obviously, mentors, role models, key people in your life helped continue. They continue to help shape you.

Trent: 00:06:30

Right.

Arjun: 00:06:31

How important is it? And what do you say to people that try and do it alone?

Trent: 00:06:36

You know, sometimes it's a lonely road, but I will tell you, going alone, you maybe can start alone, but you're only gonna make it so far by yourself. Like, you know the good quote, like, if you're the best, then you're not growing. And so I've always tried to get around people better than me.

I teach my son in football. Hey, bro, I don't care that you keep killing these kids that aren't on your level. Go find somebody that's gonna stop you.

Go find somebody that's gonna shut you down because it's gonna make you better. And so I'm always looking for somebody who is further than me.

You know, ego wants us to say we know it all, but I go into every room, every conversation. I don't care who it is. I can learn from this person.

This person is the most important person to my life because I've learned things from people who aren't celebrities, who aren't CEO's, but the average normal day person. That has taught me a lot. So I'm always a sponge to everything around me.

Arjun: 00:07:22

Beautiful. And some people know this about you. Others don't. But you are an admitted or an acknowledged introvert.

Trent: 00:07:28

e. You're an introverted guy,: 1000

Arjun: 00:07:30

How does an introverted guy tell me, make it in the NFL, which is a place where guys are thumping their chest and they are the opposite of introvert. Like, to the opposite extreme, right? Constantly yelling, being boisterous, bragging, like, just loud. Right.

How does an introvert survive and thrive in the NFL the way you did?

Trent: 00:07:48

I always live by accomplishments, achievements over announcements. I don't have to announce it. You know, I'm gonna let my life speak for it. And I just think, like football. It's so funny.

My mom would always say, cause you know how it is, man. You go to these stadiums, play against these teams, these dudes try to get under your skin.

They try to, as I say, trick you out of position, they try to, you know, get under your skin and get you out of character so you're focused on them. So I would just be like, hey, God bless you, bro, and smile, and then they would just be quiet after that. Like, well, what can I say after that?

And I would just torture them, you know, for a 50 yard touchdown after that. So I'm very protective over my energy with that. And then as far as being an introvert, you know, it doesn't mean that you're shy.

You know what I mean? I'm just an observer. You know, my grandmother taught me growing up that when you speak, make sure your words count.

And if you want to make your words count and have value, don't always talk, you know, be the person that people are intrigued with. So when you do open your mouth, it's something worth valuing. You become more valuable.

Always say, like, if you're always giving your two cent, then your two cent is going to lose value. But if you give your two cent when it's asked for, then guess what? That two cent turned into a 50,000, 100,000 million dollar advice.

And so I just speak when I need to speak.

Arjun: 00:09:17

You just might turn this into a financial literacy talk, man. That was good money talk right there, man. So with athletes in the NFL, since you were there, right.

We talk about how you thrived in spite of being an introvert. And it was actually a big strength, this quiet confidence about you.

There's a lot of athletes, all of us, as spectators of sports, see it of wasted potential. The premise of wasted potential.

So many guys that you were in the league with that you went, that you played college ball with gifted athletes probably could have ended up on completely different stratospheres in terms of their talent level and where their career could have gone, but it didn't.

Trent: 00:09:50

Yep.

Arjun: 00:09:51

Where do you see is the causes of wasted potential and why does it continually happen?

Trent: 00:09:58

You know, I just. I mentor a young group of athletes.

I do some college athletes, too, but especially high school athletes, especially in this generation, because with social media, it's made it very difficult for athletes. And a lot of guys just focus on skillset. And I said it on stage today.

Skill set is not enough because there's a lot of talented athletes that were more talented than me in high school. It's just that my character was in place. I took care of my grades. I focused on the non talent things.

You know, I met Jerry Rice, and I asked Jerry Rice this question. He said. I asked him, I said, hey, man, you know, there's a myth, and it's true that my uncle actually coached Jerry Rice.

So I know it's true, but I asked him just to see, say, is it true that every time you caught a pass at practice, you scored a touchdown? Like, you caught it and you ran, and that's terribly hard. Like catching a five yard slant and then taking it 90 yards and then getting back in line?

And he said, yeah, it's true. I said, that's crazy. I said, like, well, what made you the goat? He was like, even to this day, I don't feel like I'm the goat.

He's like, I always attack every practice, every situation, like I've never arrived. And he said, trent, I became the best at the non talent things, right? The things that were outside of you that's going to distract you.

You know, all the noise that people sing your praises. I stay neutral, and I always had something to prove.

So I think what a lot of athletes is that, especially with social media, you have to be able to tune out the noise, good and bad, and stay focused on your mission and create a. Not even a goal, because goals are something that you reach and standards are something that you live by.

So create a standard that this I'm going to show up for the rest of my life and the rest or the rest of my career. And I guarantee you'll go a lot further than the goals that you set.

Arjun: 00:11:32

For a lot of athletes, you know, their entire sense of validity and worth is tied up in just this athletic career. Right? The money they're making, the status they have, the media presence that follows them everywhere they go.

And when the music stops, when that career ends, I mean, there's another guy that replaces this person, right? Like they're a forgotten thing, that transition or that. Now, what question in their life never really gets thought of in advance? You managed to very.

And I don't know. I assume there was a lot of struggle with it and it was a process.

But you've transitioned from being an athlete to an entrepreneur to a very incredible human who is of service to others. Like, you've done the trifecta, right? How does that happen? Because it doesn't happen for most athletes. They come out and it's over.

Trent: 00:12:19

Yeah. You have to accept that it's over. And I told this story recently because I got asked this question.

I told people my biggest fear was being the grandpa that talked about who I used to be or being the dad now to have my glory story. I said, I want to talk about what I'm doing now. So I've been hungry every single day to reinvent myself.

And, of course, there comes a point where I retire, and I can talk about what I used to do in the past, but I didn't want the NFL to be the pinnacle of my story. It's just a part of my story.

And a lot of guys, they hang their hat on that because their whole entire life, like, for me, I never worked a nine to five, ever. I worked maybe one day at a shipping company. I quit. But literally, this is all that I ever knew. It's all people ever praised me for.

This isn't just Trent, my friend. I was just trend that plays for the coach. This is Trent that plays at Baylor. And so I tie my identity to that. So when I lost it, I'm like, who am I?

And a lot of guys, that happens to him. You know, my best friend, he committed suicide.

You see, a lot of guys take their life because even if they have high success, even Tom Brady, Peyton, all these people, they still struggle because this is what the world loved you for. And so one of the things I would tell somebody, listen, even you're not an athlete is number one.

You know, when people love you for something, understand that they just love you for something, but get around. People who love you for who you are and who you are is bigger than a sport, it's bigger than a business.

Who you are as a human being, and the same things that made you successful in that field, it's inside of you. You can take those same qualities and attributes and tie it into something else.

So that's all I did was just literally take the mindset I had in sports of being consistent, of working hard for something, and put it into what I do now.

Arjun: 00:13:54

I feel like, though, because of what you went through, perhaps with the suicide of your friend, your best friend. Yeah, my best friend also committed suicide. Yeah.

Trent: 00:14:03

So you feel me? Yeah.

Arjun: 00:14:04

I know you. When you talked about that earlier today, I lost it because I went back to that place.

But it ended up turning into a story for me that fueled me and gave me a sense of purpose in something I was really striving for at that time, which was to win a world championship in Taekwondo before I retired. And I was able to do that in his memory. But I really, truly feel if I didn't have that purpose, that was driving it. It was like a fire, man.

And I don't have to tell you this, because you clearly have lived this, as well. I don't know if the result would have been the same.

I might have just done something for the sake of trying to achieve it, but to really go through it.

So purpose for you has probably fueled so much of the continued success and the success you're gonna have, because it's not, you're not just trying to achieve things or just check boxes anymore, are you?

Trent: 00:14:47

Nah, not at all. That's not fulfillment. I mean, I think we all know that. I think somebody listening might not understand that if you haven't reached that level.

But there's no amount of anything in this world that's gonna fulfill you except the things that truly matter to you. That's why we look at people you have conversations with, you know, grandpas and grandmas.

They used to always be intrigued by my grandma, and she would just be happy with the simplest things in life. And at that time, I didn't understand it, but now I do. Yes, I love to achieve, and I love to be able to have financial success and online success.

Those things are very cool. But at the end of the day, me having internal peace, to me, is the greatest success there.

at really matters to you? And: 2021

Take the house, I don't care. Take all the followers, take my pay. I don't take all the money. I just wanna make sure she's all right.

And in that moment, I realized, like, this is life. These are the things that really freaking matter.

And for some of us, we spend so much time, and I'm guilty of it, too, on the things that we think matter. But in the grand scheme of life, we would give those things away.

You know, if I was to ask somebody, would you rather have a million dollars to have peace, or would you have a million dollars or have your mom back, or you daughter? You would say, I would want these things back. So why don't we prioritize those things?

And I think when you get fulfilled, it just helps you become more successful in these other areas of your life because you can move at a different pace without feeling guilty.

Arjun: 00:16:12

We lose focus of those things or sight. It's easy to forget, right. And get complacent in those thoughts. Now, you experienced it, so, you know, I've experienced it also.

And I find for myself anytime I find that I'm maybe taking certain things in life for granted or I'm focused on the wrong things. I try and take myself right back to remembering what real loss was and regaining that perspective.

And how would you say for somebody who maybe hasn't experienced loss, right. Maybe there's things have come a little easier to them, right? And then it's easy for them to kind of dwell on the negative or what they don't have.

How do they try and develop that perspective without knowing that, you know what? I know what real loss is, or I know what dark, dark was, and I don't want to go back there.

Trent: 00:16:54

Right. Future. Think. Have a conversation with the future you, because loss is coming to your life. It's a part of it.

You're going to be legendary if you're going to do something great. You know, nothing is forever. You know, I think Drake has it album. Nothing was the same, right? And it's true. Nothing lasts forever.

So you don't have to live in fear, but just have that reality that, like. Because I think we start to appreciate, like, once we no longer have it, then sometimes it's too late.

So when you're in those dark places, just ask, what is this trying to teach me? You know what I mean? Maybe you can create some even meanings. I call it soul momentum. Like, momentum.

How we know in sports is the invisible force that just changes things. What you feed your mind, we're growing your soul. And so when I'm in those moments of struggle and loss, I'm not even thinking about my mom.

And just, like, dealing with this, I'm like, man, what am I feeding my mind? What am I feeding? My mind has grown into my soul. And a lot of us, we are so focused on the negativity. We're so focused on even our sad story.

Like, I usually talk about that on stage, and people kind of look at me a certain way. I'm like, y'all need to retire your sad story. Like, stop being addicted to it.

Like, for me, yeah, the NFL getting cut was my sad story until I created another story. So I'm not no longer gonna even talk about this until I create something better.

It can be a part of my story, but I'm not gonna be this victim mindset person. And I see a lot of people in the world now, even with social media, where it's all about their sad story.

The sad story is okay, but have another chapter to that thing, you know? So, yeah, I just try to focus on always the next chapter and what I can create and moving forward.

Arjun: 00:18:17

It's very clear from spending just even a little bit of time with you anywhere. And I've been lucky to do it in a couple of different settings, man, which I'm really grateful for.

That service is very, very big for you and it fuels everything you do. Right. I heard a great line that if you aren't in service to others, you will be very lonely in business and in life. Right. You have to constantly be.

Otherwise, what the hell are we doing? What are we doing all this for? For those people that are embarking on, or anyone listening, embarking on a mission, something they want to achieve.

A young athlete who's very talented and can make the jump to college ball and maybe eventually the NFL.

What do you tell them in this way to make sure that they're going to have this fuel that's going to push them beyond the way you, the way you were able to do it, as opposed to only going as far as their talent may take them, and that's it.

Trent: 00:19:01

Your life, I would suggest, should always be bigger than you. If it's just about you, you're not dreaming big enough.

If it's just about you, I would even say you're being selfish because you're going to come to a point in life where you have your struggle, you have your moments, you have your doubts. Football player, you get cut, you know, whatever it may be. And if it's just about you, you're probably quit.

But if you have an anchor, you have a deep rooted reason of why that you're doing it for, you know, your best friend, my best friend, whoever it may be, you know, I'm not going to quit because I made this commitment. Then I also would tell people, like, be a purposeful leader in what you do, your sport, your job. Because I feel like there's three types of leaders.

There's the pitiful leader, a leader that's just a leader because, like, on the sports team, he's just the best player, but he's a terrible leader. So they give him the c just because he's the best guy.

There's a lot of people that earn leadership positions just because of their position or just because of their talent. Then you have the positional leader where it's maybe the person that's been at the job long enough. So you're just a leader, that's okay.

But when you're a purposeful leader, you lead with serve. You say, you know what? This is my purpose. I'm going to make an impact.

I'm going to do more for others than I even do for myself at times because I know that's how I'm going to expand my life. And for selfish reason, bro, I realize this is my mom's life. Like, the possessions are going to die when you die.

And your life is not multiplied through your possessions, multiplied through your purpose, so your purpose will always live on. And so for me, like, and you and people watching this, we're going to be legendary forever. I can't wait.

To my great, great grandkids that I'm never going to meet. Turn on YouTube. Oh, man. That's my great grandpa, Trent.

Like, so when I create content, like, it's not just about reaching now, it's documentation for future generations to be like, dang, this is what my grandpa was about. Dang. Let me try to carry this legacy.

Arjun: 00:20:51

Beautiful and that, you know, I think of a full life and you're just describing it. It's a full life that's going to outlive you, that's going to transcend, right?

Trent: 00:20:59

For sure.

Arjun: 00:20:59

Reach another generation in that spirit of someone who's lived, who is clearly living a full life. And none of us know what our expiration date is, man, but yours will have been full no matter what.

If there is one word you want to be remembered by, I've never asked this question of anybody, but you just inspired it out of me. If there's one word you want to be remembered by when your life is complete, Trent, what would it be?

Trent: 00:21:21

Legendary, bro. Oh, legendary. And it's not because of accolades, because of success.

It's because when I leave this earth, I know there's going to be a void in people's lives because I've always made and tried my best to make every person or every environment better. And that's what legendary is all about. When your presence is no longer there, your absence is felt because you are so special. So, yeah, legendary.

Arjun: 00:21:46

Incredible, man. I'm never going to forget that. Trying to ask every guest this as we wrap up, what does LFG energy mean to you? There's no right or wrong answer.

Trent: 00:21:59

Could be anything, I think, that comes to my mind. I say this a lot, is it means making the world respect your greatness. It means going hard for the things that you stand for and believe in. Right.

Even when you tire, you find a reason to go harder. It's about leaving impact and being a purposeful person in life. And so it's about turning up the knob a little bit, you know what I mean?

It's about, like, there's more in me. I know there's a next level to my life. Let me go see what that next level is. So that's the energy I feel like. LFG stands for good, man.

Arjun: 00:22:27

And a great answer. Trent, I will tell you this, man. Like, on the topic of impact, you have it. Anyone who's around you for just a matter of seconds can feel it.

I mean, you've made a lasting impression everywhere I've seen you, and I definitely have felt it, man. So it's been a gift to be around you and get to know you.

I look forward to sitting down and doing more talks and hearing more of the impact that you're having in this legendary life that you're living. And I just really appreciate you, man, taking the time because I know how wild your schedule is, how many talks you do, and this means a lot.

So thank you very much, man, for spending time with us.

Trent: 00:23:00

I appreciate it, brother.